Im Scared.

[Zanos]

Im and 18 year old and new to the forums as posted in the 'RAP SHEETS'. I look forward to helping the community as a police officer of somesort and in the field of law enforcement.

To get to the point, I want to be a cop. And all i hear is how huge of a divorce rate police officers have. Im scared i will have a problem when i get older. I have never have had a problem with girls before, and i try to be a good boyfriend and such. But when the times comes, and i want a wife, and im a police officer - what do i do? I want to hear some stuff from you guys on a way to be a good father, and husband but have a career as a police officer or the like. I hear the 'dont take the job home' quotation and such. Just hoping you guys have other ways that have helped you to keep problems from the career away from causing problems/barriers between your spouse and children.

Thanks for everything.

[txinvestigator1]

Make sure your wife knows who the boss is.

I am sure one of the ladies will be right along who can explain to you who that is.

[LawGurl32]

Ha.... let some man come try and tell me how it goes and I will quickly remind him that the relationship goes two ways and the other way is out the door. :D

[Switchback]

Do a search on this topic. There was a recent thread that covered it very nicely.

Nothing can kill a strong marriage. Antyhing can push a weak one over the edge.
For 2 years, I was gone more than half of each year. I still work horrendous hours (70+ is common)!

More than 10 years of a happy marriage here with 2 youngin's (that one was for norm). :D

[dragonspider]

I'm guessing that it's probably easier for you to be a police officer, and then get married, as opposed to being married, and then becoming an officer.... The reason I say this is because those that don't accept your hours, stress, and the like will weed themselves out before you ever tie the knot...if you find one that understands, maybe even another officers, you're in good company. If you're already married, and work a 9-5, and wifey likes you being home every night to help her with the dishes and laundry, it'll be harder for both of you to adapt to the new, less reliable lifestyle...

I could be wrong, but those are my thoughts.....

[corporal716]

Its not just law enforcement. 57% of all marrigens end in divorce. Don't stress over it, be yourself and find the right woman. Hell i'm almost 33 and i'm still looking, But i'm picky.

Stay away from the badge bunnies, their only looking for 1/2 your paycheck.

[Jynkxxie]

Make sure your wife knows who the boss is.

I am sure one of the ladies will be right along who can explain to you who that is.

LMAO.

[Zanos]

lol to some, thanks to all.

[K9 Police]

My fiance is very accepting and understanding of this profession and the demands it has. Although it is difficult at times, I can not imagine the difficulty it would be if the person was unaccepting of the job.

Otherwise, I would tell you to worry about it when you become sworn and you begin to have a steady girlfriend. Just make sure that girlfriend isn't blinded by the badge, and likes you for you. One reason I am happy I met my fiance LONG before ever becoming a cop.

K9

[sgtbear111]

Social isolation is one thing to watch for. Cops are very close, do not relax easily with strangers, and can unknowingly exclude others from their social circle and prefer to mingle with their co-workers. Some reasons are: 1. the absolute trust shared among officers who have faced danger together, 2. the social events where non-LEO's just want to whine about their last ticket or how their last police report was handled, 3. encounters with cop-haters or dopers (who will always take you to argument on legalizing dope) in a social setting displaying their finest street manners 4. people telling their kids you are a cop and "better watch it or this one will arrest you and take you away or beat you up".....etc. Cops are not the only ones, MD's RN's and DVM's get pestered for free advice, stockbrokers get hit on for market scuttleutt, and members of the Armed Forces hear a bunch of "war stories" or some regurgitated biased crap from the TV media on current events.

I went to one business whose owner knew what I did for a living. After listening to the "last-straw" final rude comment about LEO's made in front of other customers, I told him that turnbout is fair play, and told the other customers in line that this merchant likes to insult customers, and I am leaving without doing business here and not coming back. I left the shopping cart and walked out.

Spouses have their circle of friends, too. Social isolation is only going to the cop socials and ignoring the spouses social activities. Social isolation is only one thng that can stress a spouse about "the job". There are many more, so do some research. Most important - communicate with your spouse.

[Zanos]

^ - Thanks

[mcsap]

Police officers have their fair share of temptations with women and ample opportunities to go drinking. Both of these qualify for the top reasons that cops get into trouble on and off duty. Remember that and it can save you some trouble down the road.

[Zanos]

Well, thanks very much.