How to Win at Driving

[Scruit]

Reach the end of every journey feeling like you've got your fair share - just follow these tips;

1) Turn signals allow other drivers to anticipate and block you maneuvers. Don't use them.

2) Momentum trumps right-of way.

3) Size DOES matter.

4) Think about it - If you can cut someone off without an immediate crash, then it's not like they can ram you out of spite, is it?

5) If someone cuts you off, them ram then out of spite. You can use the cutoff as your excuse

6) Don't look behind you when backing up - it only hurts your neck and there's probably nobody behind you. Even if there is just listen for the horn (then give the finger)

7) All inter-vehicle communication that you initiate should, for simplicity, be limited to the middle finger plus frowns for emphasis.

8) All inter-vehicle communication that you receive should be in the form of varying degrees of apologies. Anything less is grounds for a finger. Any finger should be answered with gunfire.

9) If you fail to notice an oncoming driver when you are turning left, because you are reading a fully folded-out map, then screw him! You need to know where YOU are going, and besides - he should be glad you stopped at the sound of his horn and the panicked screams of his children in the back seat.

10) Anyone who fails let let you merge in front of them is an ***.

11) Anyone who merges in front of you is an ***.

12) If you cut someone off and they swerve into a tree... then tough - you didn't actually HIT them, so it's their fault.

13) Need to turn left onto a busy street? Simply pull halfway out when there is a gap on the left. When you block half the street the the people coming from the right will be shamed into letting you in.

14) If you friend cuts you off because he doesn't recognise you because you are driving your wife's car, then he is no longer your friend.

15) If you cut off a friend because you don't recognise him because he's driving his wife's car then screw him - what's he driving his wife's car for anyways??

16) Don't shoulder-check on the freeway - you might drop your cellphone.

[Jynkxxie]

I saw yesterday, on "Pimp my Ride" they put a intercom system on some dudes car!

All this means...Is that I am gonna be the first one in my hood to put a damn PA in my car. That should get me to my destination just fine!
LOL

[mcsap]

Public address systems on non-emergency vehicles is illegal in PA. You will just have to yell out of the window !!!

[Jynkxxie]

Public address systems on non-emergency vehicles is illegal in PA. You will just have to yell out of the window !!!

Awe...C'mon M! You take all the spontanious gratification out of things! I am dangerous now in a vehicle...I would be lethal with a PA.

[Toeknee112]

Pimp my Ride - BWAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAA!!! :D