She doesnt want me to take test...

[myke]

I got my letter to go take the test in a few weeks for the local pd. My wife says she doesnt want me to and doesnt want to be with a cop because she doesnt want to worry about me everyday. Anyone else have this problem? I told her I might not even get it but she says "what if you do.I dont want it".,

[gijoeyl33]

make comparisons that it would make no difference. you could die walking across the road and get hit by a truck. you could go driving to work in the morning. being a cop will not make a damn bit of difference. statistically you do have a better chance of dieing walking down the road then being a cop or being in the military. thats what i used on my GF everytime i was off to another war. it works just sell it well

I got my letter to go take the test in a few weeks for the local pd. My wife says she doesnt want me to and doesnt want to be with a cop because she doesnt want to worry about me everyday. Anyone else have this problem? I told her I might not even get it but she says "what if you do.I dont want it".,

[Jynkxxie]

It is not for everyone. I refuse to date musicians anymore. But what it really comes down to is what is more important to you. Not what we think. She should support you either way...if she loves you...however, that support needs a balance as well. Do you support her strong opinion as well. That was not a question just something to think about.

[JCsDarkhalf]

Is this something that you have wanted to do for a while, or is it just a new idea that you have decided you want to try out. Your wife should support you either way, but you should also consider her opinions and feelings.

Like Jynkxxie said it doesn't matter what we think. It will all come down to what is important to you and your wife, and how you handle it.

[CA Fuzz]

I got my letter to go take the test in a few weeks for the local pd. My wife says she doesnt want me to and doesnt want to be with a cop because she doesnt want to worry about me everyday. Anyone else have this problem? I told her I might not even get it but she says "what if you do.I dont want it".,

Believe me, you need the absolute support of your spouse to get into a job like this one. My wife is my rock and I know we support each other unconditionally. I work a tough beat where at least 8 cops have been killed in the last 20 years or so. If you really love your wife, I would sit down and speak to her. Find out what her misgivings are. The life of a cop is tough. Long and irregular hours, dangerous, lots of politics. You never know when you are going to make the evening news (usually for something negative).

She may not be willing to accept that type of life. I know some women and men who didn't. Believe me, if you don't want to end up in divorce court, either figure it out now or find another career path.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

[marine19860222]

Ya do what GI said and compare it with other things. Also find out all the dangerous things she does or wants to do and compare that with them, it might work. lol

[mcsap]

TV has not only provided many hours of entertainment, it also portrays the life and times that FEW officers ever live through. The daily car chases, shootouts, knock down drag out fights, kicking peoples doors in etc. These things are NOT what we normally do in a days work.

Ask her where she got her perception that police work is so dangerous and I bet it is from TV. My wife wasn't thrilled about police work work but she knew when we first met that it was what I wanted to do .

[hwpd]

I got my letter to go take the test in a few weeks for the local pd. My wife says she doesnt want me to and doesnt want to be with a cop because she doesnt want to worry about me everyday. Anyone else have this problem? I told her I might not even get it but she says "what if you do.I dont want it".,

It's your decision, not your wife's. Infact she should support you 100% on what you decide. Otherwise whats the point of relationship without support?

[mcsap]

I wouldn't go quite that far HWPD, I think it is safe to say you aren't married. It is quite an important decision that both should make together. When you just say " it's my decision and thats that", there won't be much if any realtionship.

I just think he needs to allay her misconceptions about police work that unless working in a LARGE city and in a bad neighborhood, are the exception and not the rule.

[wild800]

Alot of good points above...in the end it depends on why you want to do this and if she can't support you, would you be willing to see her walk away? No one can answer that for you. My husband was not thrilled with my career choice, he worried that I would be hurt also. We talked about it for quite some time before he was able to support my decision. It helped that I was doing the Military Police thing for four years while we "discussed" it. He helped me prepare for the academy, bought me a gun so I could practice, took care of the house and kid while I was in the academy, and has been the one who was always here for our son. You should talk to her as much as you can about your reasons for wanting to do this work, and the impact it will have on both of your lives.

[Seand442]

If possible, arrange for her to do a ride-a-long with the dept. If she gets a chance to see first hand what you would be doing, it might open her up to the idea. Whatever you decide, you will want her support 110% the entire way. My fiance is who keeps me in check. She is aware of the possibilities but also knows that i am well trained and have as much equipment as i can. If something happens, god forbid, she will be well taken care of. Honestly I am more worried about her being a teacher. At least I get to wear a vest.

[Kowboy]

Dont let a women run your life! Just joking....
Its just the test portion, doesnt mean you will get the job if you take it. Tell her you would like to take the test and continue discussions with her about the job after...it usually takes time to hear back and to go through the process, by then you may have her coming around to your way of thinking!

I got my letter to go take the test in a few weeks for the local pd. My wife says she doesnt want me to and doesnt want to be with a cop because she doesnt want to worry about me everyday. Anyone else have this problem? I told her I might not even get it but she says "what if you do.I dont want it".,

[Bryan]

My wife was a Leo several years before I joined. I can honestly remeber how I felt about worrying about her if she would get hurt or gawd forbid loose her in some way. The longer she was in the more relaxed I became about her safety etc, knowing that she was a smart cookie and she worked with some very good police officers.
Fast forward to the future before I became a Police officer, I worked for a Canadian Railway that lost just as many people on the Job as Police members in the line of duty in Canada. I realize that the line of duty stats are greater in USA, however there is no doubt that proportionately they are about the same.
I have been on both sides of the fence, If I could recommend two things, maybe have your wife speak with other Leos wives to get an understanding of how they felt.
Make sure that when and if you write the test, that it is a decsion that both of you have made. I have personaly made it a goal to make sure my family life is healthy and happy regardless, and the best way I feel I can accomplish that is having a team decison approach with my family.

chers

[cecilVA]

Also have her check out a book called, "I Love a Cop", I've seen it recommended over and over again when people raise the question that you have.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...glance&s=books

[Finder]

Make sure you have a long talk before jumping in. Being the spouse of a LEO can be just as difficult or more so than actually being a LEO. I hate that my wife is alone so much of the time during holidays or has to show up at family gatherings alone because I am working, She deals with my stress and often goes to sleep alone because of my hours. My wife is an Angel about it and before I took the job, I explained to her that if it ever became too much to handle and started to take a toll on our marriage, I would leave the job. Worrying about your safety is only one of the things that she will have to deal with.