Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

The wife and I have been having some problems communicating lately and we have both been under an incredible amount of stress lately and I just want to do something that lets her know that she is still my #1 and the most important person in my life. The only problem is this week we only have one day together and that is tomorrow morning from 730-11 so a date night is out of the question. I am looking for something I can do at home. Another thing, I don't have ANY money to spend to get anything to do it because we are completely struggling for money right now.

I am just looking for ideas that I can build off of and tweek for my own way of doing things. Just looking to rekindle the spark! Thanks for the help guys.

Flowers. Have flowers sent to her work, if possible. If you can't afford to have them sent, stop at a grocery store that sells them and bring them home to her. Flowers have bought me tons of hero points over the years.

Flowers definitely work, but here's an idea that worked for me when I was married- and it's cheap. My ex was great at writing long mushy birthday cards to me, and it definitely made HUGE points. You could go to the store, pick out a Hallmark card, and write a few short paragraphs expressing what you -- wait a minute, ready? - feel and think about her. Have you ever done that? If you haven't, I guarantee she'll like it. It's a defect we women have. :)

Heck, you had no problem getting on RP and being open with us. For example, you wrote, "...amount of stress lately and I just want to do something that lets her know that she is still my #1 and the most important person in my life." You were able to tell us. Have you told her? If you've already told her, then you gotta drill down to the next level of detail. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, write a draft and send to me, and I'll help ya with it. :)

Trip

"I love you so much I can't ****" doesn't cut it?????

LMAO, RDS, were you just watching Two and Half Men, lol? Charlie Sheen can't **** because he's engaged, runs into his ex-girlfriend, finds he is torn between the fiance and the ex girlfriend, which his shrink says is causing constipation.....that episode just finished at 10:30, LOL....is that where you got that idea from, lol?...

is that where you got that idea from, lol?...

Nope, it's a Texas love tradition thang.

Trip,

I have done that before so I don't think I can do that again with the same affect. We just haven't been on the same page lately. If its not how to discipline our two kids, its about moving (we might possibly be moving to a new state if she gets a job) and she wants me to stay until I find a job that pays me near what I make where I am at now, its how when I don't get enough sleep I guess I am cranky...lol. I guess I just wanted to show her that I am still in our relationship for her. Her and the kids are tied at #1.

Give her the hot beef injection.

Give her the hot beef injection.

^^ This guy ^^ ain't ever been married... 'cept to a car. :)

Get her a 1/2 hour massage. And although it may be cheaper, not at the Oriental Health Spa.

Still try the flowers. I'm serious, I've been amazed at the reaction I've gotten for just spending 10 bucks for a handful of flowers at Safeway.

^^ This guy ^^ ain't ever been married... 'cept to a car. :)

Not hard to see why.....

Trip,

I have done that before so I don't think I can do that again with the same affect. We just haven't been on the same page lately. If its not how to discipline our two kids, its about moving (we might possibly be moving to a new state if she gets a job) and she wants me to stay until I find a job that pays me near what I make where I am at now, its how when I don't get enough sleep I guess I am cranky...lol. I guess I just wanted to show her that I am still in our relationship for her. Her and the kids are tied at #1.

Oh, bless your heart, MPI1; this is gonna take more than a card. That's the stuff that takes LOTS of time to work through. I agree with RDS about the flowers. And Piggy too if you can afford it. As you go through the inevitably stressful discussions you need to work through, it's great to "take the edge off them" with flowers or massage gift or something similar. I still think you should write the sentence you wrote in your first post with the flowers.

Although, it's easy to pick out one of the sources of the tension. This is just me being brutally frank - there is no such thing as spouses and kids being tied for one, in my humble opinion. My personal belief is that kids can grow up and disappoint, or go off and do their own things these days no matter what your fantasy is for them, but spouses sign up to be there in the long run. To me, as long as parents have given kids the foundation for being self-sufficient, law abiding, contributing citizens, that's the most you can hope for, and the rest is just icing on the cake if you're lucky. But then again, if you feel your relationship with the spouse will keep heading further apart - which a realistic self-assessment should reveal for you, then the kids might be more important than the spouse. But she can definitely see through your pretending they're both equal. Reality of your actions always has a way of revealing that. Only my 2 cents though. Good luck :)

Oh, bless your heart, MPI1; this is gonna take more than a card. That's the stuff that takes LOTS of time to work through. I agree with RDS about the flowers. And Piggy too if you can afford it. As you go through the inevitably stressful discussions you need to work through, it's great to "take the edge off them" with flowers or massage gift or something similar. I still think you should write the sentence you wrote in your first post with the flowers.

Although, it's easy to pick out one of the sources of the tension. This is just me being brutally frank - there is no such thing as spouses and kids being tied for one, in my humble opinion. My personal belief is that kids can grow up and disappoint, or go off and do their own things these days no matter what your fantasy is for them, but spouses sign up to be there in the long run. To me, as long as parents have given kids the foundation for being self-sufficient, law abiding, contributing citizens, that's the most you can hope for, and the rest is just icing on the cake if you're lucky. But then again, if you feel your relationship with the spouse will keep heading further apart - which a realistic self-assessment should reveal for you, then the kids might be more important than the spouse. But she can definitely see through your pretending they're both equal. Reality of your actions always has a way of revealing that. Only my 2 cents though. Good luck :)

Trip,
I guess not tied, more like #1 and #1.01 kids being 1.01. I don't see us growing apart at all. We are still strong in our relationship, and we still love each other more and more every day. It was just about communication not about the "love." I am not worried about how much she loves me, just that I wanted to get back on the same page with communication and get back the "fire" when we kiss, hug, touch ect.

Greg,

We still have a GREAT sex life so don't worry about that :D!

Greg,

We still have a GREAT sex life so don't worry about that :D!

You sure you're married?

You sure you're married?

Well I said "I do" and promised to give my life away....pretty sure that means I am married!

Well I said "I do" and promised to give my life away....pretty sure that means I am married!

Ouch.

Trip,
I guess not tied, more like #1 and #1.01 kids being 1.01. I don't see us growing apart at all. We are still strong in our relationship, and we still love each other more and more every day. It was just about communication not about the "love." I am not worried about how much she loves me, just that I wanted to get back on the same page with communication and get back the "fire" when we kiss, hug, touch ect.



Well, sounds like you just need to suck up a little more. Need to communicate more. It takes a LOT of work. That's why I'm NOT married....too much work, LOL :)

Well, sounds like you just need to suck up a little more. Need to communicate more. It takes a LOT of work. That's why I'm NOT married....too much work, LOL :)

Marriage is easy, I've done it lotsa times! Eat, drink and remarry!

Marriage is easy, I've done it lotsa times! Eat, drink and remarry!

LOL. What he said.

We still have a GREAT sex life so don't worry about that :D!


You sure you're married?

So I guess the single life is treating you pretty good, Greg? Are you getting plenty of that 'hot beef injection?' :)

So I guess the single life is treating you pretty good, Greg? Are you getting plenty of that 'hot beef injection?' :)

Now Mikey, you know there's more than one way to get these things, right? Sorry, Mike, I have to defend Greggie once a month so I can pick on him the rest of it. :)

So for Trip...I sat her down and explained that I thought we were drifting apart and that we needed to focus on us more and our lives less. Told her how much I loved her and how I can't picture one day without her. Call me a sap but without her I can't see going on day to day. Told her that and we are back on track, we have been great since. RDS, I got her favorite candy and put it in her purse for when she goes to work (she has to go into her purse for her key card to get in), she called me crying, all because I got her candy and put it in her purse. You might wanna put that one in your back pocket for next time lol.

RDS, I got her favorite candy and put it in her purse for when she goes to work (she has to go into her purse for her key card to get in), she called me crying, all because I got her candy and put it in her purse. You might wanna put that one in your back pocket for next time lol.

With mine, candy wouldn't work, she's on a perpetual diet although she's not the least bit overweight. But I'm glad it worked. It's usually the sappy stuff that does the most good.

Good to hear it went well.

So for Trip...I sat her down and explained that I thought we were drifting apart and that we needed to focus on us more and our lives less. Told her how much I loved her and how I can't picture one day without her. Call me a sap but without her I can't see going on day to day. Told her that and we are back on track, we have been great since. RDS, I got her favorite candy and put it in her purse for when she goes to work (she has to go into her purse for her key card to get in), she called me crying, all because I got her candy and put it in her purse. You might wanna put that one in your back pocket for next time lol.

Outstanding, MPI1 !!!! Great news! Now see, was it that hard? Just fyi, you're gonna have to keep those "moves" in your playbook for the rest of your marriage. :)

Oh I know, I got a playbook in my head I keep writing down the plays that work and the ones that don't!

Oh I know, I got a playbook in my head I keep writing down the plays that work and the ones that don't!

I wanna know how well that "I love you so much I can't ****" card works out.

And then there's the "I like 'Fat and Ugly' because it keeps you all to myself. And that's the way I always want it to be" card. Kinda of sappy in a left-handed complement/foot-in-mouth sort of way. I am thinking of submitting to Hallmark but I am awaiting field testing. :) j/k

As for candy, it always seems to be okay to break their diet if it's a thoughtful gift like your secret candy in the purse. Not okay to break their diet with Egg McMuffin to avoid making breakfast.

Bad idea: "I was going to make you breakfast this morning but I passed by McDonalds last night while thinking about you and got you this egg mcmuffin you can warm up in the microwave instead. I thought you'd like it more than the scratch pancakes with fresh bluberries I was going to make." Doesn't work nearly as well as you'd think even thought you were thinking about her a full twelve hours before it was necessary. Don't try it. especially if you already took a bite of the McMuffin.

So I guess the single life is treating you pretty good, Greg?

A gentleman doesnt kiss and tell.


Are you getting plenty of that 'hot beef injection?' :)

Dear God no.

Woman: You like football more than you like me!

Man: I like you more than I like basketball.......