Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

I understand this does not fit in this forum, I could not see a better place to put it.

So a little background, i am currently a Public Safety Officer for a college campus. Ive worked very hard for the last few years of my life building myself for a Law Enforcement job. I did not plan on getting or even attending an academy till 23-24 (21 now) so its coming a little quicker then planned. if for no other reason then to have more life experinces and work experinces under my belt. I also planned to have some financial issues taken care of.

This job was flat out offered to me by the Chief and LT of the department. Knowing how hard Police jobs are to come by, the pay raise and the guarantee of going to the academy has long as I do my part. (wrap up 30 college hours and physical). I could not turn it down without feeling guilty

My family always seemed to support it and have been very generous and kind beyond words to me. I have one of the best immediate family's I could ask for. well use to?

My older brother who is a security officer is always talking down to the fact I work for college campus and not a real police department like he did (and was fired from after failing the academy twice for them, yet they still offered him a correctional job). always calling me names and trying to fight with me. literally 6 weeks ago just before I got my current job we would go out shooting or go grab a drink together every Friday or Saturday. He has refused to do it since then.

My father, who until recently has also been my best friend. he constantly reminds me that I failed two college courses when I was 18, constantly says ill never graduate the academy because I am a failure. blames me for his financial trouble, and other stresses in his life. he has also started telling me i am way too far "on the law side" and no longer in reality of every day life. (what started this was my brother came home with syringes computer equipment Business class radios and a prescription booklet I guess you would call it? I simply stated I did not like it and he should dispose of said items)
he was very rarely this way towards me in the past, it seems constant now though. This is probably the toughest family member for me to be going through this with.

My mother is really the only one that I still somewhat get along with, however she strongly discourages my career choice (with compassion and love thank goodness). However she knows what i am going through with the rest of my family and has been a god sent angel always doing small special things for me. we never really had a good relationship, but it seems to be getting stronger in the mist of things? oddly enough. I have asked about the change in our relationship and her reply is simply "I will enjoy my last years with you. I wish you would pick another career" This one does not fit here but I figured it could contain important information for someone?

I do not think I have changed much if at all. My best friends all say I am still the same person in every aspect, if anything maybe slightly more confident and straight lined (black and white if you will). however this maybe a biased opinion considering there 1 firefighter 1 police officer and the third works with me and is going to the same academy. I have a brother in law who is a police officer in CA when I confronted him about my feelings, he basically stated he has to force him self be around my immediate family. hes also very well disliked in my family though. he suggested I move out and get used to it. really would not expound on details though

I get along very well with police officers, and always have. Some of my best friends are police officers. however they could not help me with my concerns/family issues because they were 2nd or 3rd GEN cops.

I guess I am looking for this questions to be answered,
Is this normal?
expected?
common?

Is becoming a police officer going to cause me to loose my family?

What else can I expect/be prepared for?

Any advice you guys can offer?

Any help at all will be greatly appreciated.....

Rob

I guess I am looking for this questions to be answered,
Is this normal?

"normal" is relative/subjective - what you are going through/facing has happened to others before you and will happen to others after you.

expected?

depends upon whom you know, whom you are related to, whom you associate with, etc.

common?

It doesn't happen to everyone and, if/when it happens, it can vary in degree (just how bad it gets).

Is becoming a police officer going to cause me to loose my family?

No one here can tell you one way or another. It may happen or it may not happen. The LEO friends/relatives you claim you have would probably have a better idea than any of us.

What else can I expect/be prepared for?

Who knows? What's the worst that could happen (in your opinion)?

Any advice you guys can offer?

Think it over thoroughly. Of all the possible outcomes, what would you regret more/the most?

Any help at all will be greatly appreciated.....

Rob

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I had a college friend that majored in Computer Programming. After a couple years in the field he became a police officer (has been for over 12 years). Both his parents were upset for years because, "that's not what we sent you to college for." He still went home and visited family when he could. They have come around and finally accepted his chosen career.

think about this: You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family! Be Safe.

IMHO, it sounds like you would serve yourself well if you distanced yourself from them both physically and mentally.

Your brother is just a chip off the old block and your mother seems to be an enabler for them both.

I appreciate the responses samuel and safety steve. Both were very helpful in there own ways. Help that was much needed.

Someone once told me "the closer I got to becoming a police officer, the more my family would seem less like family and my friends were not so much, but the family that is family and the friends you do have, will truely be the best."

too bad it's part of a speech to make me pick a different career path. I guess I should of been better prepared for this comming and the other stuff I've been warned about.

Really gives me a new meaning to FNG. Guess I'll start listening now.

Samual, the last two embedded questions you asked me, are really the two I need to ask myself. I'll have to weigh them.
Thanks again.
Rob

Creeker, wish I could say that's the first time I've heard that advice. It's not. And a coomonly reaccuring advice given to me.
Sounds like maybe I need to shove a shoe in my mouth and start listening.

BIL told me the same advice earlyier tonight.

He went through a similier situation with his immeadiate family 13 years ago when he went to the academy. He's encourging me to continue following my road.

Thanks again.
Rob.