Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

I'm new here but im wondering if I'm the only person that goes insane while hes on the night shift? Im a young mom, but I feel like I'm a single mom. I stay up late because I cant sleep without him, and I have to get up early with our daughter. Im so afraid our marraige will fall apart. Im not sure how to cope because he doesnt want me calling him all night wether im lonely or not. But im SO incredibly lonely. Im just venting... but I hate being alone all the time.

Buy a dog maybe:)...

In all seriousness though I think it is pretty common what you are going through. My wife had the same problem when I was working graveyards and I didn't let her call unless it was important but I let her text me whenever she felt like it and I think that helped out a lot for her. Sometimes I wasn't able to get back to her because I was on a call or busy dealing with someone but I always got around to getting a text back to her once things settled down.

Theirs not a whole more advice or things for me to say to besides find a hobby or something that will make you tired so you can take care of your child and I honestly think that your marriage will be just fine. A problem this little should not lead to a divorce IMHO.

Hope this helps just a little I am sorry you have to go through this though. Best of luck to you and your husband.

Just get on here, it provides hours of entertainment :)

I recommend a book titled "I Love a Cop" check it out on amazon. This should be required reading for all cops and wives (significant others) as the job has unique challenges that go well beyond the shift work. I purchase this for all my new kids. You must cope with this somehow, a pet is actually a very good idea. The worst thing you can do is let this cause strain in the relationship and be the foundation of bigger problems yet to come. Keep in mind that shift work is common in many other jobs so don't use it as an excuse to cover for other "issues." Good Luck

Being a cop is not what you do, its what you are!

I'm new here but im wondering if I'm the only person that goes insane while hes on the night shift? Im a young mom, but I feel like I'm a single mom. I stay up late because I cant sleep without him, and I have to get up early with our daughter. Im so afraid our marraige will fall apart. Im not sure how to cope because he doesnt want me calling him all night wether im lonely or not. But im SO incredibly lonely. Im just venting... but I hate being alone all the time.

If I may ask a question, how old is your child/children?

I am just going to throw this out there, it may not apply, but based on what you have said I think it may play a part.

Being a mom IS lonely, at least at times it seems. And every mom feels like a single mom sometimes. Regardless of the situation, and I don't believe it matters whether you have someone or not.

This may sound insensitive, I assure you it is not, but my ex worked nights, and I slept just fine. I mean of course I worried about him, but you can't live life like that, always afraid to come out from under the covers. Now, when I had my son, **** changed. I went from little miss independent hermit, to incredibly dependent and lonely. My delivery was rather rough so I had to work twice as hard to keep the Postpartum at bay, but I had a really really hard time being alone with my son for the first little while. Eventually I got back to myself, but it was because I threw myself into things again. Just like I did before I became a mom.

And again, my situation is probably a lot different than yours, but if you focus your attention on bonding with your child/children the rest, whatever that may be, will fall into place. It's hard sometimes for the other side to really get how you feel. If you spend so much time worry about what may or may not happen with other people then you risk not fully devoting yourself to the most important people in your world. And you will regret that later.

Get out and socialize a bit. Not sure if there are other mothers that you know from your husbands work, but network with them, set up play dates, make some friends and they will be there for you when all are asleep and hubby's away.

Hi there! I totally understand. Im a young mom too. This is why I joined a forum like this to see if I am the only one out there feeling this way. My hubby has been a cop for almost 6 years now and I am still not used to sleeping alone at night. We have two kids - the most recent being our son who is 2 1/2 months. I get very lonley when I am up at night with him. It just reminds me of the fact that he isnt home. We are texting each other more which has helped but it isn't the same.

Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing!

I bought this book about a month ago and it really has been helpful! I wish I would have bought it when hubby was in training. It would have saved ALOT of arguments and grief.