Creeker
02-24-07, 01:07 AM
OK, first I have to say that I am a big Reno fan, and I have always believed that the 30 minute shows on Comedy Central are closer to real life cops than most of the Cops episodes I've seen, within reason. I am a mid 40's, conservative and retired LEO, so that should be taken into consideration as you continue.
I saw on Thursday night that the movie was opening in my area on Friday and decided that I was going to go see it immediately simply because I have a habit of saying I am going to see something and then I don't see it right away, then it is gone from the theater before I do see it, so I inevitably have to wait for it to come out on video.
I knew it wasn't the type of movie my wife would want to see, so I took myself down to my local Regal, paid the monstrous price of $8 for a 3:05pm movie, which USED to a matinee time, but "matinee" was recently time changed to prior to 3pm... I guess to capitalise on the teeny boppers getting out of school. I also plunked down $4.75 for a large diet coke, and then realized I was paying a total of $13.00 to see a movie that in all likelihood will be coming to video in a month and I would be able to purchase it for probably less.... but I digress...
Being as I was alone and a bit early, I hustled down to my favorite sit spot when I see a movie alone... right down about the 5th row center, where all I have to do is move my eyes as I lay my head back on the cushion and watch the movie. To the uninitiated, you should be warned that sitting this close to fast action sequences such as the last "Bond" movie, you can tend to get a little motion sickness if you aren't careful...
As the movie came up, I admired the proportions that Clemmy has aspired to, and had to look away when Dangle showed up, then despite myself let out a guffaw as the movie started out in characteristic calamity... no matter... I was, after all, by myself.
Alas, but the movie slid downhill from there, and I began to appreciate that my wife wasn't there and even to wish I wasn't there as I was treated to the mostly juvenile visualisations of most all of the cast in various states of undress in seperate motel rooms and at least two of the male members playing with theirs in front of opened drapes as a third ran from room to room attempting to avoid seeing what I was being subjected to.... and later when "Weigel" begged "Dangle" for a pity screw, the ensuing little bit of soft porn was one of the most memorable things in the movie.
Don't get me wrong, there were some funny moments and some at which I admit I outright giggled, maybe a little loudly, but overall I'd say I would have rather seen new episodes of the tv show for an hour and a half. The story line was insipid and quite unbelievable: 2000 cops go to a Convention in Miami Beach and all of them are exposed to an evil chemical, and the only Cops that can hit the street are "Our Gang" because they lost their reservations to gain entry... which did lead to one of the funniest lines of the movie after they discovered the modern, state of the art 911 call center:
Dangle: " Who unplugged the 911 switchboard"
RayRay: " We had to, otherwise we couldn't pop the popcorn."
Most of my laughs came from the scenes that didn't make the movie, played for a few seconds into the credits... and when the scenes stopped I turned around to discover that I hadn't been the only guy in the theater afterall... and some of the other few couples seemed to look at me a bit strangely...
...suddenly, I was embarrassed to have seen it, as I hurriedly beat feet to the exit and points beyond....
I saw on Thursday night that the movie was opening in my area on Friday and decided that I was going to go see it immediately simply because I have a habit of saying I am going to see something and then I don't see it right away, then it is gone from the theater before I do see it, so I inevitably have to wait for it to come out on video.
I knew it wasn't the type of movie my wife would want to see, so I took myself down to my local Regal, paid the monstrous price of $8 for a 3:05pm movie, which USED to a matinee time, but "matinee" was recently time changed to prior to 3pm... I guess to capitalise on the teeny boppers getting out of school. I also plunked down $4.75 for a large diet coke, and then realized I was paying a total of $13.00 to see a movie that in all likelihood will be coming to video in a month and I would be able to purchase it for probably less.... but I digress...
Being as I was alone and a bit early, I hustled down to my favorite sit spot when I see a movie alone... right down about the 5th row center, where all I have to do is move my eyes as I lay my head back on the cushion and watch the movie. To the uninitiated, you should be warned that sitting this close to fast action sequences such as the last "Bond" movie, you can tend to get a little motion sickness if you aren't careful...
As the movie came up, I admired the proportions that Clemmy has aspired to, and had to look away when Dangle showed up, then despite myself let out a guffaw as the movie started out in characteristic calamity... no matter... I was, after all, by myself.
Alas, but the movie slid downhill from there, and I began to appreciate that my wife wasn't there and even to wish I wasn't there as I was treated to the mostly juvenile visualisations of most all of the cast in various states of undress in seperate motel rooms and at least two of the male members playing with theirs in front of opened drapes as a third ran from room to room attempting to avoid seeing what I was being subjected to.... and later when "Weigel" begged "Dangle" for a pity screw, the ensuing little bit of soft porn was one of the most memorable things in the movie.
Don't get me wrong, there were some funny moments and some at which I admit I outright giggled, maybe a little loudly, but overall I'd say I would have rather seen new episodes of the tv show for an hour and a half. The story line was insipid and quite unbelievable: 2000 cops go to a Convention in Miami Beach and all of them are exposed to an evil chemical, and the only Cops that can hit the street are "Our Gang" because they lost their reservations to gain entry... which did lead to one of the funniest lines of the movie after they discovered the modern, state of the art 911 call center:
Dangle: " Who unplugged the 911 switchboard"
RayRay: " We had to, otherwise we couldn't pop the popcorn."
Most of my laughs came from the scenes that didn't make the movie, played for a few seconds into the credits... and when the scenes stopped I turned around to discover that I hadn't been the only guy in the theater afterall... and some of the other few couples seemed to look at me a bit strangely...
...suddenly, I was embarrassed to have seen it, as I hurriedly beat feet to the exit and points beyond....
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