The REAL POLICE FORUM is a leading community of police officers and law enforcement professionals. The forum includes police chat and restricted areas for police officers only. The ask-a-cop area allows you to ask questions to real police officers and only verified police are allowed to respond. REALPOLICE.com also features law enforcement jobs, news, training materials and expert articles.BeTheChange
08-30-06, 02:06 PM
Ok, so this looks (ok, it is) really long but you have to know the whole story...
First off, I've known this guy a little over a year...we actually first met on a ride-along that I was assigned to do for a college course. We hit it off and now, here we are. Anyway, he's currently a deputy in a busy county in northern California. When I met him, he worked one of the most exciting beats around...Vallejo (if you're not familiar with CA, Vallejo is just 20-30 minutes from Richmond and Oakland so you know its exciting). He loved going to work every night and had a great partner. His department encouraged him to go out for S.W.A.T and he made it, so that little extra something to do made the job even better. Shortly after this, everyone's assignments changed and he got a new partner, one he wans't fond of but made the best of it. That's when things started to go south.
He was pulled of patrol and stuck in the courtroom where I guess if any of you have worked it, wasn't the happiest place on earth but he worked patrol on weekends...boo-koo overtime. I'm not sure what happened with S.W.A.T. but one day he wasn't dong it anymore and instead was starting up the K-9 program. This got him really excited for the first time in many weeks. He was putting in ten hour days at the courts and then another four or five every night for nine weeks...not to mention working OT patrol on the weekends....still.
It came time to get his brand-new K-9 patrol car and the day before he was setup to go...the SGT. pulled him and another guy off saying they weren't needed (when really he and this other guy didn't get along with the K-9 Instructor and so this instructor had a grudge against them to beign with). So now, to make things worse, he's been pulled out the courts and was re-assigned to transport.
So.....to my actual question/problem here: We're not in a relationship per se but want to be. At first he was wasy to get a hold of and always willing to talk about anything. Now I know us women like to talk about feelings and blah blah blah, but I know he doesn't like to so I don't force him. I worry about him because he'll work, I'm not exaggerating, a month straight without a day off. He calls maybe once a week now and I'm grateful for that. He's been really angry with his department but says there's nothing he can do. He really enjoys what he does and I have all the respect in the world for him, but then here I am wondering everyday if he's okay, if he's safe and what I can do to kind of perk him up.
Now I am also pursuing a career in law enforcement, so I understand the job, it's demands and consequences of it, but after reading other posts and talking to other officers, this whole thing just doesn't seem right. Why would anyone do this to themselves? Should I just sit back and watch or what can I do to maybe help him?
Am I just overreacting here?
First off, I've known this guy a little over a year...we actually first met on a ride-along that I was assigned to do for a college course. We hit it off and now, here we are. Anyway, he's currently a deputy in a busy county in northern California. When I met him, he worked one of the most exciting beats around...Vallejo (if you're not familiar with CA, Vallejo is just 20-30 minutes from Richmond and Oakland so you know its exciting). He loved going to work every night and had a great partner. His department encouraged him to go out for S.W.A.T and he made it, so that little extra something to do made the job even better. Shortly after this, everyone's assignments changed and he got a new partner, one he wans't fond of but made the best of it. That's when things started to go south.
He was pulled of patrol and stuck in the courtroom where I guess if any of you have worked it, wasn't the happiest place on earth but he worked patrol on weekends...boo-koo overtime. I'm not sure what happened with S.W.A.T. but one day he wasn't dong it anymore and instead was starting up the K-9 program. This got him really excited for the first time in many weeks. He was putting in ten hour days at the courts and then another four or five every night for nine weeks...not to mention working OT patrol on the weekends....still.
It came time to get his brand-new K-9 patrol car and the day before he was setup to go...the SGT. pulled him and another guy off saying they weren't needed (when really he and this other guy didn't get along with the K-9 Instructor and so this instructor had a grudge against them to beign with). So now, to make things worse, he's been pulled out the courts and was re-assigned to transport.
So.....to my actual question/problem here: We're not in a relationship per se but want to be. At first he was wasy to get a hold of and always willing to talk about anything. Now I know us women like to talk about feelings and blah blah blah, but I know he doesn't like to so I don't force him. I worry about him because he'll work, I'm not exaggerating, a month straight without a day off. He calls maybe once a week now and I'm grateful for that. He's been really angry with his department but says there's nothing he can do. He really enjoys what he does and I have all the respect in the world for him, but then here I am wondering everyday if he's okay, if he's safe and what I can do to kind of perk him up.
Now I am also pursuing a career in law enforcement, so I understand the job, it's demands and consequences of it, but after reading other posts and talking to other officers, this whole thing just doesn't seem right. Why would anyone do this to themselves? Should I just sit back and watch or what can I do to maybe help him?
Am I just overreacting here?