Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

My husband recently got hired on as a cop and he is currently attending the academy. They started last Wednesday. He has always wanted to be a cop and was a military MP in the Air Force. It took him several years to get on, but when he did you could get how happy he was that he finally achieved what he has always wanted to do. My questions here is what is the best way for me to support my husband through the academy. I know there are going to be ups and downs, but last night was a rough one. He came home and said that he almost quit the academy. He was pushed beyond his limitations for the PT and I think most of that had to with the extreme heat. I explained to him that as time goes on your body will adjust to everything that you are putting it through because I have been there. I know the first few weeks are the hardest and I'm trying to see what he has now and what he has accomplished. I know not everyday is going to be easy, but do things get better and how can I help him get through his rough patches.

Sorry if I babbled on, but I want to support my husband everyway I can and I have been doing it so far by ironing his uniform, helping him study and giving him the space he needs. I want him to be happy for himself but also for our child.

By wanting to help you are being supportive. In Police Work you'll have good days and bad days...This is "Basic Training" for you too.

Sometimes you have to let him rant and rave but he's tough so he'll come through...he just needs to know you understand and support him. It's tough to go through and be away from your family.

Tell him to hang in there...


Always remember to not get so busy making a living that he(you) forget to make a life... Good Luck and Best Wishes/ Smoke.:) :)

Remind him to keep his eye on the prize, if this is something he's wanted for so long he will not let himself fail. As long as you guys keep communicating in a positive way you'll get through the job stresses just fine.

It may get to a point where you feel you are putting more in than you are getting out, try to remember that this is a short step in a long term arrangement - he will get to grips with it all and when he does he'll be back to his usual self.

Remember that us mens are very basic and simple. We are generally happy if we have a pretty woman by our side, good food and a good action flick on.

I think the best way to support your husband is to constantly build him up, let him know that you know he can do it. Compliment him. Stroke his ego. It is usually that simple. Don't try to hard to help solve his problems. I think you will already do a fine job just by reading your post.

But, the most important thing is to love him. Let him know how proud of him you are and how much you love him.

I feel that I have the most supportive wife in the world. Even though I am not an LEO yet, she is fully on board with it, and she lets me know everyday how proud she will be someday to be a police officers wife. I hope I don't disapoint her.

[QUOTE=MetPC]Remind him to keep his eye on the prize, if this is something he's wanted for so long he will not let himself fail. As long as you guys keep communicating in a positive way you'll get through the job stresses just fine.

I was telling him last night about what he finally got and he does seem to understand this. He is a strong guy and I know he can handle this because he has been through something similar before, but he did say this is harder than Air Force basic training. I do know that to be true because I went through basic myself and I thought it was a joke.

He did work out before the academy but I think he wasn't aware there is a lot more to it than what he thought. We talk about how is days are and yesterday was the only bad day so far. Every other day he seemed positive. I think it was the extreme heat we had yesterday and he said they pushed them very hard and did some running outside when it was 98 degrees. I know that is no excuse because he will be enduring this while he is a cop, but his body has to adjust to things he hasn't done.

Thank you everyone for your words. There are times when I feel alone because there is really no one around here to talk to about to. He has told me how much I have helped him, but I hope he really knows that I stand by him and I know he can do this.

There are times when I feel alone because there is really no one around here to talk to about to. He has told me how much I have helped him, but I hope he really knows that I stand by him and I know he can do this.
Well feel free to swing by and vent - I'm sure others in your situation drop in from time to time and would find it comforting to see others experiencing the same things.

All these guys who posted before me hit it on the head. If your husband needs some extra motivation just rent Rocky 4 and make him watch it.:D




Good Luck to you and your husband

-NY BLUE 86

When I first joined up, my wife and I had just met, and started to live together when I began at the Academy. I had an exam on each Monday morning first thing.

Sunday nights for us meant no tv and study. I would teach my wife everything I had learnt that week. If i couldn't teach her, then I figured I didn't have a grasp on the subject myself.

By the end of the 6 months, I passed no probs, even picked up an award on the way. Because my wife had helped me so much, it became a team effort and not something I did on my own. It only helped bring my wife and I together more (if that is possible).

Over the next 6 years, she was there for me when I got home after a big day or night. It might have been cooking dinner for me, or even running a hot bath if I had been in a good rumble. Other times, it was just a kiss on the cheek as I got into bed next to her. It all helped. And I try my hardest to thank her everyday for every little thing she has done for me. (BTW we have never had a fight or even a cross word to each other in 6 years)

The biggest thing my wife has done to make my journey easier, is just being there.

Just be there and he'll appreciate it.

I think one of the worst things spouses do is shut down their cop. Sometimes when I come home I'm either excited about something or bummed out about something. I know my wife will listen to me. I have frequently heard about wives who will cut off their husbands because they aren't interested or are scared about the job. That's a huge mistake, as connecting to us emotionally is going to partly involve being a part of our jobs. If he can't connect with you he's going to end up doing it somewhere else.

Be there for him when he is excited about a pursuit or fight and be there for him when he needs to unload after seeing a 6 year old crushed by a car. It may not be pleasant but it's very, very important.

I wanted to thank everyone for their responses. Just to give an update. He is currently in week ten of the academy with 14 more to go. It has not been easy to say the least on either of us, but we are making it work. Our daughter is very proud that her daddy is going to become a cop and she told him the other day that when she grows up she wants to be a cop like her daddy. I think that made him feel good. Its a tough road, but we are doing good.

It sounds like you love him very much...:) It also sounds like you are on the right track with him.

There are good days and bad on the job. Some days he will want to tell you about his entire day,and some days he won't. Do not take it personally when he would rather vent to a fellow co-worker. I see and hear what my squad mates go thru. I am a chick working with mostly guys. Some of the guys vent to me about things that I know they don't take home to discuss with their wife. There is an understanding from cop to cop that normal people would never understand. Again, DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY.

Be supportive in whatever shift he ends up with. I have heard time and time again how wives give their husbands ultimatums about switching shifts to make it easier on the wife and kids. I know child care issues plays a role, and of course you need to see your husband every now and then, I'm not talking about that. What I am referring to is what goals and dreams your husband has on the force...whether it be a specialty assignment or a certain shift that he really wants. If he's not happy at work, it will trickle home.

If you ever have questions or concerns, please feel free to pm me. I am a cop...and I'm a girl, so I see and understand what the guys go thru.

In my opinion the best way to support your spouce is to HAVE SEX WITH THEM THREE TIMES A DAY!!!!



:D

In my opinion the best way to support your spouce is to HAVE SEX WITH THEM THREE TIMES A DAY!!!!



:D


Yeah, I'm with you on that one. :D

In my opinion the best way to support your spouce is to HAVE SEX WITH THEM THREE TIMES A DAY!!!!



:D


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You missed a 0, Norm. so I thought I'd help cover ya. ;) :p

In my opinion the best way to support your spouce is to HAVE SEX WITH THEM THREE TIMES A DAY!!!!



:D

WTF!!!!!!! Dude, you need Jesus. To the young lady of this thread, I want to thank you for being there for him. It is Wonderful. Also tell him to try to remember what basic training was like. Ex Airmen myself, but we went through hell week, we made it, it is pretty much the same. Please hang in there (to him)

Job market sucks, I am sure he doesn't want to go back there. Peace, continue success and I wish him well, Happy Holidays.

I just wanted to tell everyone thanks for there comments and advice when my husband first started the academy. I am proud to say that after six months, he graduated yesterday fifth in his class. I have never seen him more proud and I'm glad that he has accomplished his lifelong dream. He starts working Friday night with an FTO.

Thanks again everyone!

Pass on my congratulations.

Well done to both of you.

Remember that us mens are very basic and simple. We are generally happy if we have a pretty woman by our side, good food and a good action flick on.

I think the best way to support your husband is to constantly build him up, let him know that you know he can do it. Compliment him. Stroke his ego. It is usually that simple. Don't try to hard to help solve his problems. I think you will already do a fine job just by reading your post.

But, the most important thing is to love him. Let him know how proud of him you are and how much you love him.

I feel that I have the most supportive wife in the world. Even though I am not an LEO yet, she is fully on board with it, and she lets me know everyday how proud she will be someday to be a police officers wife. I hope I don't disapoint her.

Your answer is very good. I learned early as a LEO's girlfriend then his wife that the WORSE thing I could do was to try to help solve his problems. Men are problem solving oriented, and I learned fast that was HIS territory not mine. :-) There are stressors in being a LEO's wife but I'd do it all over again. I applaud you all for the job you do.

In my opinion the best way to support your spouce is to HAVE SEX WITH THEM THREE TIMES A DAY!!!!



:D


OMG, WTF



IDK, MAYBE she'll take that advice.

OMG, WTF



IDK, MAYBE she'll take that advice.

Like, IRL, dO yOu rEaLiZe HoW oLd ThIs ThReAd ReAlLy Is?


;)

Like, IRL, dO yOu rEaLiZe HoW oLd ThIs ThReAd ReAlLy Is?


;)

Hey, I didnt revive it. It was justice3333 ;)

Glad you and your husband made it. For quick advice, in my opinion/experience, women are real supportive in the beginning. But as time goes by, women try to change men to (i feel) suit their needs.

We are what we are. Sure there are things in relationships you need to work out, negotiate etc. I had a problem where after a while, my (now ex) started griping about my job, the hours and days...I stopped sharing stories from work, felt uncomfertable. In the beginning, she was all infatuated--supportive.

My job is my passion, career, a big part of my life. I worked my butt to get here, and I am a hard working officer...aggressive. It can have serious reprocussions relationship wise, if someone comes into my life and tries to change it.

Be happy for him, it s a great job, stable and can be very dangerous. Gotta go...hope this helps...! I KNOW THIS IS AN OLD THREAD...But it is one that perhaps other women (okay men too) can learn from.

In my opinion the best way to support your spouce is to HAVE SEX WITH THEM THREE TIMES A DAY!!!!



:D

She beat me!!! I was about to say the same thing.

Listen to him and shag him until he's sore. That's rules 1 & 2. ;)

Holy Zombie Resurrection thread, Batman!! Twice it came back in 6 years! The Mozambique is the only method to stop it.