Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive
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02-22-06, 10:44 AM
Hi all, Thats something I have been wondering before I jump back into the dating pool again. Do I want my wife to really be a police officer? I think it would be so cool, and we would both have alot of interesting stories since i'm going to start doing a ton of police tests within the next month. If anyone is Husband Wife Police Officers let me know, Do you guys get along great? I'm scared if we are to much alike we might not make it, but if we are both police officers then we will both understand the sacrifices a police officer makes!
Avoid establishing a relationship with anyone you work with, I've done this myself and it caused all kinds of FUBAR problems at work and at home, inevitably it ended up effecting the work environment.
I know a few cop couples and it seems to work OK for them but they don't work together.
02-22-06, 03:43 PM
I've known police couples that make it and those that don't.
Like all relationships, the success factor depends largly on the individuals involved.
02-22-06, 07:14 PM
You both made excellent points. =) Thanks.
02-22-06, 09:37 PM
I am not an officer, but I hope to be one day. I can tell you that I have given a few pinks slips out because of that desire. One who was an LEO, and others who were not. Having dated an officer before, I can tell you that it wasn't exactly always easy just the two of us, I don't know how much harder having children would have been. No, I wasn't there to personally witness, but he didn't hold anything back. I loved that. I could handle it, but the problem was I don't think he could. I could be way off base, but men are a little different when it comes to woman, especially when they are a loved one and they know what they are going to be doing. Again, just my experience. My personal perspective is by the time you marry someone you should be committed enough to at least try to make whatever work, and be supportive. It takes a special person to be the better half to a police officer. Not everyone can do it, but I really don't think it necessarily has anything to do with profession.
02-24-06, 06:28 AM
Talking shop may work for quite a while but when you come down to it, you better like the girl for her or you are going to get smacked.
I can't give credit to who told me this but:
Find someone that loves you despite you being a cop not because of it.
02-25-06, 11:23 PM
A job shouldn't be the reason that you date/marry somone. Just being a Law Enforcement student and working dispatch for a PD have made my friends look at me differently. It's hard to find a girl around my age who doesn't drink alcohol. And since they know I don't drink and that I work with Police Officers they won't have anything to do with me. Your true friends (boyfriends and girlfriends) will have your back no matter what. As for dating, become friends first and let the rest work itself out.
02-26-06, 12:12 AM
My wife and I married about midway into my military career. Seven years later we had kids and I broke the news that I was going into law enforcement. I had been dropping hints about it for a while but the final "here I go" was met with a complete undesireable response. Her perception of the profession was danger-danger-danger and saw nothing more than a phone in the middle of the night saying that I was either injured or dead. I had been serving for years in an already dangerous flying profession and had been shot at numerous times and she could've gotten that phone call long before. Of course, she didn't see it that way. Don't know why, she just didn't.
IMHO, I was dancing with danger more flying than I am patroling the streets, although the danger I'm dealing with now is a hell of a lot more unpredictable, which IS a more stressful environment to work in. I was fortunate that my spouse was fairly prepared for it and my family is dealing with it well, now that they understand why I wanted it.
If the communication is strong in your relationship and you truely want to understand your spouse's calling to law enforcement, support will probably follow. So long as she disconnects in her off time and business continues as usual with your relationship, you should have no problems. The only red flag I can think of is when the profession starts to transcend into your family time. That my friend is a serious problem. :)
My wife, of 7 years has been an LEO for about 13 years. I have been an officer for 5 years. We have 2 boys, almost 4 and 3 months. Times have been great, some very miserable. She works as a Detective, I work overnight patrol.
We rarely talk shop, as no matter what I have experienced that night, she has been there done that, so I have just taken the approach, keep my mouth shut! Gets kinda stressed, but luckily I can talk to my fellow officers.
Children make it harder. In fact, I am currently working, X-duty and my wife called that she got called in, and ooops no sitter. Luckily a few calls later and a friend of hers (who she forgot about) was able to help.
The one thing that I am definately sure of, is that if we do in up in a divorce, I will NEVER get remarried!