Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

Hi:
I am 20 weeks into my academy in Northern Cal. It has been hard work, but it has also been great fun. We have had some pretty funny moments as well. I was hoping that others would share their best Academy stories here for the board.

In 6 more weeks once we finish our academy, I will check back in with my best story. So, in the meantime, please share your best.
thanks
Steve A

You really shouldn't post your name in here.

Not an academy story, but I had a NCO demand to know "Why you lookin' all crazy and s**t"

We were in the driving phase of our academy and I was riding shotgun with another cadet. We were going pretty fast, around 85 or so when we came up on the 1st hard turn. I was thinking,"Man, John really needs to slow down". About that time John looks at me out of the corner of his eye and says, "Hey, watch this". Next thing you know we're going 85 through a sorgum field in a police car with lights and sirens blaring. We totally missed the turn since he was going too fast and were now driving through a pasture trying to catch a Sergeant who was rapidly dissappearing down the road we were supposed to be on. Class motto is now, "Hey, watch this."

We used to have a guy that had trouble staying awake during lecture. The RTOs didn't like this and once they got wind, they decided they knew just how to solve this problem. Throughout the academy, we were ambushed many different times at random by our instructors. We would be in formation posting the colors (while half asleep) and one of the RTOs would don a ski mask and come running out of the admin building shooting blanks off 20 feet away for at least 8 or 9 rounds.

Well, the sleepy guy did his thing one day (fell asleep), and an instructor happened to be watching. He approached the sleepy guy from behind and in sweats and a ski mask kicked the desk over in front of this guy completely jarring him to full alertness! Then he drew his gun and let off about 6 rounds point blank in sleepy guys face while screaming, "your all gonna DIE!!!!" While we all drew our weapons and took cover (laughing hysterically), sleepy guy about stroked out and ended up with a mild twitch for the remainder of the day. Needless to say, nobody slept much after that.

One of my classmates doing a keg stand without holding onto the keg!!!! :eek:

You really shouldn't post your name in here.

Excellent advice - I edited your name out Steve just left your surname initial.

Excellent advice - I edited your name out Steve just left your surname initial.
???? :confused: ????

???? :confused: ????


The forums are open. Use of information that identifies a specific individual isn't encouraged. In fact it's not a good idea at all.

Okay my Academy story. I was taught to touch type by an instructor who used his cane - Sticky McCane he called it - and if we peeped under the cover to see where those elusive keys were he would crack the cane down on the desk next to us. Call it learning by fear if you like but I touch type really quickly and I went through the Academy 1968-1970.

Our academy had a three strikes rule. You had three attempts to get something done right (test topics, practicals etc.) If you didn't make it in three attempts you were gone. This was enforced and we lost a few people.

At the end of the academy we had our disabled motorist class and they taught us how to light road flares. We all went out into the parking lot and in unison struck our flares against the lighting surface and lit them.

One of our class clowns we called Big Country because he was like 6'8" and about 320 pounds. Big Country's flare didn't light. The instructors walked over to him and counselled him. He tried again and it didn't light. Now he's on third attempt so they walk him over to the LT in charge of the academy and have another counselling session with him. They show him how to light the flare again and advise him he's out of the academy if he doesn't get it. We were all like WTF? Nobody could believe that A) he couldn't light a flare and B) he was going to get booted out for it.

Big Country was all serious now and sweating. He was very intense. He'd moved here from upstate NY for this job and didn't want to blow it a few weeks before graduation.

He gets all set up with the flare and the striking surface and hits it. The flare doesn't light.

He's all pale like he's going to pass out and the instructors start roaring with laughter. They'd peeled off the striking surface and colored the cap red to make it look like it was there. We were all dying with laughter as he got a real striking surface and lit the flare on the first attempt.

One of the recruits in my company was walking down the street towards the academy a few weeks ago and a cop car pulls up, yells over the PA, "RECRUIT! Drop down and give me 10!!" and the poor girl actually did about two push-ups on the sidewalk until he told her he was just joking...

After a lot of running and cal. in gym an instructor walks by me and says "Do you call that a pushup? and I said "No Sir". :D

Okay, I will tell one story, but be informed if we did something like this in today's world, we would have been fired!

There was a female in our academy that was one hell of a stuffed shirt. She declined to associate with the rest of the class, a real loner, almost to the point of being offensive.

In any event, she kept copious notes, wrote faster than anyone I ever saw, and seemed to be able to absorb the lecture while doing so. We had noticed the flipping of several pages in her notebook during instruction and made jokes that we should sit next to her for the cooling fan effect.

Well, one of us got the bright idea that we should obtain a graphic centerfold picture and put it in her note book, several pages ahead, during one of the breaks.

The mission was completed with posted lookouts and the associated apprehension of getting busted. We were quite proud of ourselves. :D

So, the next course of instruction starts. The Three Musketeers are making furtive glances at the note-taker during the lecture, while trying to keep from giggling and trying to pay attention at the same time.

Just as yours truly happens to glance over, the note-taker comes to the offending page and immediately turns and looks directly at.....................ME!

Now, how in the hell did she know I had anything to do with it??????

I know I looked just like Barney Fife getting busted by Andy as I turned away and pretended like I was intensely writing notes. I was soooooooooo busted! :eek:

It turned out this broke the ice and she started hanging out with the Three Musketeers.

She never ratted on us and turned out to be one of the best graduates and a good chum.

1. I fell asleep in class one day. I woke up with a chalkboard eraser in my mouth.

2. My roommate (at the academy) chewed tabacco. He would sneak a little plastic dixie cup into class so he could spit. An instructor found it and made him drink the contents of the cup. :eek:

2. My roommate (at the academy) chewed tabacco. He would sneak a little plastic dixie cup into class so he could spit. An instructor found it and made him drink the contents of the cup. :eek:

Yuck........! :eek:

About one week into the Academy, we were out in the quad and the staff was teaching us basic marching and turning. They then tried to teach us how to yell out Hurrah!!! Most people got it, but some were having a hard time.

There were two active duty Marines, who would always come in wearing their uniforms (apparently they did their normal shift at 29 Palms and then would drive to San Berdoo). With people having a hard time, one of the staff, a short lady, went up to the Marines and asked loudly, "What do Marines do?" I think she was expecting a loud, thunderous, HURRAH!!!

But....

Both of them together.. "KILL!! WE KILL!!"

We all lost it... the TAC staff lost it. The Marines were looked around and said they didn't understand what was so funny.

note to self.. leave skoal at home...

note to self.. leave skoal at home...

They have Skoal "over there?"

....

They have Skoal "over there?"


Sadly no... but I can dream.

These two happened to me:

During the Emergency Vehicle Operations Course (EVOC) one of our tests was the controlled lane change, supposedly to simulate a suddenly blocked center lane, and the instructor would call out on the radio either "left" or "right" at the moment you were supposed to change lanes. Well for some reason, I had some kind of disconnect from my ears to my brain, because I would go into a random lane regardless of what they called out on the radio, i.e. they'd say "right" and I'd go into the left lane. Well, the instructors stopped all testing and I had to get out in front of everyone while the instructor affixed post-its to my hands that said "left" and "right" which I was required to wear for the rest of the day, including breaks and lunch.

Second story:

I am not a fast note-taker. But we were required to take notes during classroom instruction because they would all go into a notebook that would be graded at the end of the academy. So to make sure I didn't miss anything, I would tape the classroom and then I could review the tapes every weekend and type up my notes. Once my classmates found out that I was taping the sessions, whenever we would take a break, they would take random turns saying naughty things into it while I wasn't looking...so I'd be home on the weekend, listening to use of force, 4th amendment, etc. and all the sudden there'd be a little tidbit on there that would make your ears turn red. :o

O.K. I will play-

In my academy we had a cadet that has been a paramedic for over ten years. So occassionally we would run medical questions by him. Well after one long hard day of PT and a butt load of sit-up done on a hard surface we hit the showers. One of my fellow cadets asked a medical question as we were taking our showers He wanted our paramedic buddy to look at the wound on the crack of his *** (from doing sit-ups) and tell hm how to fix it. After a good laugh and alot of ribbing he still didn't get the remedy....

We still talk about this story..

I don't remember much about the academy it was all a big blur :confused:

My least favorite part was one day when we had just got done PT'ing. We were all walking back to the classroom area, when a good buddy of mine (and fellow academy recruit) came up from behind me, and fully pantsed me (running shorts and underwear) in front of a bunch of people.

My least favorite part was one day when we had just got done PT'ing. We were all walking back to the classroom area, when a good buddy of mine (and fellow academy recruit) came up from behind me, and fully pantsed me (running shorts and underwear) in front of a bunch of people.
Funny how this story comes at the same time as a rather suggestive signiture, Tiny. :D:P

Funny how this story comes at the same time as a rather suggestive signiture, Tiny. :D:P


Tiny is a word often used for people that are in fact, not tiny at all. Many large people are nicknamed "tiny," but they are far from it.
I am one of those people who is in fact, not tiny at all. :D

I have too many to list. We were a small class, VERY close nit (except for a few jerks), and it was a constant game of "who can play the best joke" (most of which, not safe for a public forum. Like the last day of class, we all went to a local bar/grill to celebrate. Quite a few Deputies from an unamed agency showed up and celebrated with us. We closed the bar down, I got some stories from that one... :D ). We were serious when we needed/had to be. But we knew how to have a good time.

Tiny is a word often used for people that are in fact, not tiny at all. Many large people are nicknamed "tiny," but they are far from it.
I am one of those people who is in fact, not tiny at all. :D

It's all relative, just because your girlfriend Thumbelina says you ain't tiny you need to consider the source. :D

It's all relative, just because your girlfriend Thumbelina says you ain't tiny you need to consider the source. :D


Hahaha...I do have big philanges....so technically Thumbalina might not be such a bad source after all... :D

Tiny is a word often used for people that are in fact, not tiny at all. Many large people are nicknamed "tiny," but they are far from it.
I am one of those people who is in fact, not tiny at all. :D
Is that kind of like when people call me "stupid" and "dumbass".

Momma always said it was a sarcasmic way of calling me a genus...

Is that kind of like when people call me "stupid" and "dumbass".

Momma always said it was a sarcasmic way of calling me a genus...


No, you're actually stupid.....I'm just well hung!!!! :eek: :D