Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

Wow, last night I was shot down by a girl who I thought really was into me. We hit it off, we had a lot in common. In fact this was our 3rd time going out, so I thought it was going pretty well. Anyways, we never really talked about what we do for a living and such. So we did last night, and as soon as I said that I was a Reserve police officer, she froze. Then we called it an early night, and she proceeds to say "This won't work. I don't like cops. You're great and all but no way." and then left. I have seen this happen a couple of times before? Is it me or do any other people have this problem? Is it the girls I date? Should I stop hanging outside the prison exit waiting for then next release? (that was a joke). I'd like some feedback, on how to fix this issue, I mean come on I am not even full time! It's like the plague to women my age. I am 23 by the way. Also, is there any women who actually like cops? Where do I find them!!!!

You find the good ones on the street corner when you're working Vice... the ones that do it for free are the good ones!

That was a joke.

I have no idea. I found mine in High School. She'd stay with me if I were a porta potty cleaner.

The problem is you are letting the fact that you are a reserve define you.

Anyone with that instant level of distaste for the police has no doubt been on the receiving end of our professionsl services.

My wife hated cops, until she met me. She moved in two duplexes down and would drive by my place and not even look or wave... it was on then. Now we have been together for 3 years, married for one and our daughter is due this month!



Guess who got the last laugh on that one ;-)

Reapp...congrats on your daughter and your marriage. Yeah, I bet they have been on the recieving end or a family member was. It also sucks dating when the "badge bunnies" come-a-knockin. They just like the fact that you are a guy in uniform. Eh, whatever, guess I have to wait for my Dirty Harriet, nothing hotter than a female officer, haha. Not trying to sound like a pig there, oh sh*t no pun intended.

Eh, whatever, guess I have to wait for my Dirty Harriet, nothing hotter than a female officer, haha.

Think we've all either done that or are bound to do it - I'm gonna try and avoid it from now on :rolleyes:

Also, is there any women who actually like cops? Where do I find them!!!!

From time to time we get a few on here, however they normally come with their own cooking pot to boil your rabbit in when you spurn their advances.

The problem is you are letting the fact that you are a reserve define you.

I must respectfully disagree. One needs to find who he/she is and run with it, you cannot hide your personal life from those you choose to associate with. What if things became more serious with the OP (eg. marriage) and then the whole "hey i'm a cop" thing begins to surface. That would *not* be good.

Anyone with that instant level of distaste for the police has no doubt been on the receiving end of our professionsl services.That's what I was thinking. She has something to hide.

The problem is you are letting the fact that you are a reserve define you.

hard not to, when its the only profession that I wanted to do since I can remember. Its a big part of who I am, if a woman can't accept that, she isn't worth. I will not change for anyone. It's a simple rule in life.

hard not to, when its the only profession that I wanted to do since I can remember. Its a big part of who I am, if a woman can't accept that, she isn't worth. I will not change for anyone. It's a simple rule in life.Good for you. Stick with it!

I've found very similar things just with trying to find a roommate. All is well until you mention the "law enforcement" thing.

I think I'm going to start saying: "I work for the city."

I've found very similar things just with trying to find a roommate. All is well until you mention the "law enforcement" thing.

I think I'm going to start saying: "I work for the city."How come you aren't verified??? Just askin'.

I think I'm going to start saying: "I work for the city."


I like "I clean the the streets of useless litter and trash."

No offense to all the great guys here and all, but it would take a lot for me to date another LEO again. A LOT. Nothing personal.

And FWIW, it is probably not you at all.

Edited to add: A really good friend of mine, always tells the girls he dates different stories. LOL Sometimes he is an engineer, sometimes a business man...Guy is nuts. Just be honest. You are who you are.

Also FWIW, Any chick who is worth her weight will make the sacrafices to make it work. You just gotta remember to do your part as well.

My last GF was a LEO and I just couldn't take it I tried to make it work but she was extremely paranoid about everything it seemed. I'm very laid back kind of lifestyle. We are still friend though.

No offense to all the great guys here and all, but it would take a lot for me to date another LEO again. A LOT. Nothing personal.

And FWIW, it is probably not you at all.

Edited to add: A really good friend of mine, always tells the girls he dates different stories. LOL Sometimes he is an engineer, sometimes a business man...Guy is nuts. Just be honest. You are who you are.

Also FWIW, Any chick who is worth her weight will make the sacrafices to make it work. You just gotta remember to do your part as well.

Last I heard you wouldn't date anyone again. ;)

Oh.. you're young! Don't worry pal.. everything will work out and you'll find a lovely lady who will love you for who you are :D

Besides.. i'm young and I like Cops.. I plan on being one someday, so I don't know if i'd marry another Cop.. We might not 'mesh' well together.. ha ha.

Yeah, and Hannah is totally single too.

There is obviously a deep prejudice there. She may have had bad experiences growing up with a relative who was a cop. I've heard more than one person talk about an alcoholic and abusive father who was a cop. She may have also dated a cop in the past or had a friend date one and had a really bad experience. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

Then there is the possibility that she has prior experience with law enforcement from a customer service perspective or is involved currently with a criminal enterprise like transporting drugs.

The good side to this is at least she had the guts to come out and tell you. She could have clung to you, gotten into a long term relationship, and then made life miserable for you until you switched careers. Thank her for cutting you lose easy.

Wow, last night I was shot down by a girl who I thought really was into me. We hit it off, we had a lot in common. In fact this was our 3rd time going out, so I thought it was going pretty well. Anyways, we never really talked about what we do for a living and such. So we did last night, and as soon as I said that I was a Reserve police officer, she froze. Then we called it an early night, and she proceeds to say "This won't work. I don't like cops. You're great and all but no way." and then left. I have seen this happen a couple of times before? Is it me or do any other people have this problem? Is it the girls I date? Should I stop hanging outside the prison exit waiting for then next release? (that was a joke). I'd like some feedback, on how to fix this issue, I mean come on I am not even full time! It's like the plague to women my age. I am 23 by the way. Also, is there any women who actually like cops? Where do I find them!!!!

I used to have the same problem. Now I tell them that I am a garbageman but they seem to be just as disgusted by that. I don't know what the problem is with women.

Last I heard you wouldn't date anyone again. ;)



Wow...LOL I am not a shru (sp)! Just old enough now to sift thru the bull****, before wasting a lot of time. :D

There is obviously a deep prejudice there. She may have had bad experiences growing up with a relative who was a cop. I've heard more than one person talk about an alcoholic and abusive father who was a cop. She may have also dated a cop in the past or had a friend date one and had a really bad experience. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

Then there is the possibility that she has prior experience with law enforcement from a customer service perspective or is involved currently with a criminal enterprise like transporting drugs.

The good side to this is at least she had the guts to come out and tell you. She could have clung to you, gotten into a long term relationship, and then made life miserable for you until you switched careers. Thank her for cutting you lose easy.

Since I am the self appointed soothsayer of this site I think I will go up on my mountain and ponder this for awhile. Valor has some very valid points that I need to consider. Besides I seem to be having an attack of Intercranial Rectal Inversion this morning. :D

No offense to all the great guys here and all, but it would take a lot for me to date another LEO again. A LOT...

So, I guess I need toive up all hope or find another job. I hear Taco Bell is hiring. :D

So, I guess I need toive up all hope or find another job. I hear Taco Bell is hiring.



Nah...I'll tell you what. I'll vow to take your job, if you vow to bring home those cinnamon twists I love so much. Then we got a deal. :D

Valy, you really should have a doctor look at that. :D

And LawMan, when I said it wasn't you, it was for the basic reasons Valor mentioned. It is good to know upfront.

Well...I gave that instance of 1 of many women who have done that in the past, to either me or my co-workers. So I appreciate the scenarios, but it's more than just her. haha. Yeah I am young, I'll wait, besides with this Air Mrashal thing, if I get it, do I want to be tied down before I get stationed in NY or D.C.? I think not.

Wow...LOL I am not a shru (sp)! Just old enough now to sift thru the bull****, before wasting a lot of time. :D


So I guess your profile birthday isn't correct, making you 13?

So I guess your profile birthday isn't correct, making you 13?

Well actually it is...I am just very Doogie Howser for my age. ;)


And LawMan, if you are going for the FAM thing, I say play the field man, play the field! LMAO

Doggie Howser or DOOGIE Howser?

Hmm... just biting my tongue here. :D

There Pumpkin, I fixed it for you. Still better than your G-Ride posting.

Wow, last night I was shot down by a girl who I thought really was into me. We hit it off, we had a lot in common. In fact this was our 3rd time going out, so I thought it was going pretty well. Anyways, we never really talked about what we do for a living and such. So we did last night, and as soon as I said that I was a Reserve police officer, she froze. Then we called it an early night, and she proceeds to say "This won't work. I don't like cops. You're great and all but no way." and then left. I have seen this happen a couple of times before? Is it me or do any other people have this problem? Is it the girls I date? Should I stop hanging outside the prison exit waiting for then next release? (that was a joke). I'd like some feedback, on how to fix this issue, I mean come on I am not even full time! It's like the plague to women my age. I am 23 by the way. Also, is there any women who actually like cops? Where do I find them!!!!


LawMan,

I haven't found a job with a Department yet, but I have just finished up the academy (self-sponsored) and while going through the academy, I had 2 girls alone stop dating me when they found out what kind of "school" I was going to. BUT, at least they were honest and all though they left for a stupid reason, better off without them. Just remember, there are other fish in the sea. Be honest with them, and if they still dont hang around, their loss..

Oh, and about the Air Marshal program your trying to get into... Oh, i'll leave that to a PM. :D

Yeah, and Hannah is totally single too.

Sshhh, jeez! you are too, so there! :p

hard not to, when its the only profession that I wanted to do since I can remember. Its a big part of who I am, if a woman can't accept that, she isn't worth. I will not change for anyone. It's a simple rule in life.


I agree with your assessment; however, you did ask. I thinnk you are probably coming on too strong with the cop thing to begin with. Ease up on that and see what happens. ;)

JeffL,

I am not telling him to hide who he is, but not to let it define him. Ask the verifieds here. Life is better and more balanced when you do not let LE define you.

Sorry to hear that you were shot down. I also happen to think that the words police oficer define me. A lot of people hate us and a lot of people love us. My family and girlfriend hate cops but that doesn't bother me and it doesn't bother them. Currently I'm a 19 year old dispatcher and not old enough to be an officer. If you need to know the measure of a man or woman you must simply count your friends.
Andrew

Lawman,

I'm sorry things didn't turn out as you hoped they would, but at the same time I'd like to add that you're young; don't rush into anything. Take your time and don't concentrate so hard on finding someone. Stick to your values and what you believe in, and when you least expect it, the right someone will walk into your life.

I wish you all the best.

~kk

Here's my opiniom on the matter. Opinions on the police differ greatly by region. My best buddy is a cop in Texas. He'll walk into a place, let it be known that he's the police, and the chicks are into it. Don't get me wrong, he's pretty smooth on his own, but the badge sure don't hurt.
I however live in one of the most anti police locales anywhere. I never tell people what I do for a living anymore, especially at bars etc. Anything is better than telling DC women you're a cop. Example: I was with this woman at a bar a few months ago. We were talking to a bunch of people and I was telling everyone I was a garbage man. This one woman was trying to be polite and asked me if it was hard to drive the truck in narrow city alleys. I said, "Yeah, I don't know, I'm the guy who stands on the back." No BS.
Anyway, my lady friend and I get invited to an after party. But then someone somehow found out I was a cop and we got uninvited! I couldn't believe it! They were ready to have a garbage man who can't even drive the truck over, but a cop? Hell no! Ever since then, I tell everyone I'm a garbage man. And this is only one example. I've never had a good experience telling a girl I'm a cop. We're like lepers up here, it's actually pretty funny.

[QUOTE=cwillis0001]I however live in one of the most anti police locales anywhere. I never tell people what I do for a living anymore, especially at bars etc. Anything is better than telling DC women you're a cop. QUOTE]

haha...i didn't know what that was until you said it like that. My fiancee is a cop in DC (US Capitol Police) and peoples behaviour when he is in uniform or whatnot never made sense until i read that. Thanks for enlighting me!!

Also, I agree with the general opinion that the girl might have had previous experiances with cops. My dad took a long time to get used to a cop in my life not becuase of the person he was, just because he was a police officer. So don't sweat it, you'll find someone. ;)

Seriously it's not easy.

Badge Bunnies go from being midly entertaining to absolutely painful to talk to. I'll be the first to flirt a little but I avoid them like the plague.

Other cops? No thanks, not that some of the girls aren't great cops, and beautiful women but I know that's not for me. Besides whenever a new one gets hired you can practically see the vultures circling. Who can date knowing theres fifty guys waiting for you to make a mistake? That's some serious pressure because both YOU and HER know it

Civilian employees? Again the vultures circle, besides I've taken my lumps there. Nothing like trying to get over some one and seeing them on a weekly basis. She is a CST (Crime Scene Tech). Close enough to a cop know exactly what's going on and be part of the team but not get caught up in the ego contest. However it has been beneficial professionally. Since seeing her is both great and awful at the same time, I've become quite proficient at processing my own scenes and collecting my own evidence.

Photos at a commercial robbery? I have my own digital camera thanks.

Blood droplets from the property crime de jour? I got the swabs in my trunk.

Prints from the counter? I got your swirls, whirls, loops, and double biforcations right here.

"Nope Sarge I don't need a CST, I'll process it myself."

And Sarge just thinks I'm showing initiative!


I avoid her because it's better than way for me, not because of any bad blood. There is a reason people say never date someone you work with! Luckily everything was extremely under wraps and the only people that knew anything was going on was the other CSTs (they aren't blind, and normal officers don't show up in the lab at 2 in the morning on their off day) and my squad. Hell I tried to hide it but they know me too well, AND one of them saw me talking to her once. Using superior cop social skills my squadmate stops me as I'm walking away from the CST van and asks "hey you f%$*ing her?" "No, and it's not like that." I figured better to explain than have THAT rumor start up!


But moving right along...


You can always hit the ER. Usually a decent number of females employed there, and they are no stranger to human suffering (that's a plus).

Teachers are another option. It's another group of women that is usually college educated and sometimes socially isolated. This can be both good and bad.

Civilians tends to get fixated on the officer thing. I used to lie about it but decided not too. I don't lead with it but let them know pretty early on, no sense in wasting your time.

Besides alot of them just don't understand until their eyes get opened to the world. A lot of them can't handles things cops just accept (unplanned overtime, off duty work, midnight shift, missing holidays). Or they have lived in that middle class bubble their entire life. The problem is if you DON'T bring it up it can be a dealbreaker down the road.

If you DO bring it up, people have preconceived notions about you. Unfortunately I don't fit into any of them :) And don't ever slip up and say something like "blood is good." Other cops may understand but no way a normal person will. Check please?


I used to want what everyone wanted, a great person that is fun and all that stuff. Now I know that I need someone that is a great person but also understands.


That's a tall order for anyone to fill.


I think I'm just going to get a dog. They never talk back, always listen, and are happy to see you when you get home! That's all the companionship I need! :)

my son jacob met his sweetheart when he was on the force. he would always tell me, mama merle girls love to flirt with a man in uniform but they always balk when it comes to acting on it. my advice is to meet girls and tell them that police officer is a profession not an attitude. MUCH LUCK with finding the soul mate

Well, from my standpoint on this conversation i think for the most part telling one your a police officer should be the first thing you say when u meet a girl. That way they know what thier up against.

I just recently got back into the dating scene after an 11yr. marriage that just went sour.

Since i've dated several ladies and I tell them first hand that I am a reserve officer and I work for BMH security police. That gets that out there right away and they either stay or leave. And so far to my demise i've not had any leave.

There are always those "badge bunnies, or holster sniffers" as we refer to them on the dept. Ladies,women who chase after the man in uniform. But those girls are not my type. I have this thing w/ me that i always end up dating the girls who are ex cons, or into using illegal drugs and after i find out all this, im like look "Im not trying to change you so continue doing what your doing, cause im on my way out the door" Hope i don't have to come back sometime and arrest ya. BTW I'll tell them " do me a favor and get rid of the weed before i have to come back on a different type of visit" LOL that usually always gets me thrown out the door by them... GOD i hate to love women... This whole being single thing is just so much different then i remember it before i was married.

at 32 yrs old now im finding women to be scandelous, drug addicts, liars, cheaters, on parole. I have yet to run accross that good girl yet. At this point im not really searching for her either. Im enjoying my single life.

I was married at 21yrs old. Im saying this for those of u young men out there who think they are ready. Im not speaking for anyone or on behalf of anyone.. Just take your time w the whole dating scene and just when u think that girl is the one for the rest of your life... THINK AGAIN! somewhere down the line of life who knows what will happen...

Over my 11yrs of marriage i was loyal, worked 2 jobs to support my family, went to school. My problem was I neglected my family time and wasn't there trying to support them. So am i mad at my exwife for leaving me? NOPE not at all.. I would of done the same thing in her shoes. We are friends now, and probably get along better now then we did while we were married. But i'll be honest its ruint me for the next future lady i date. I say date w a smile because i'll never make the same mistake twice and get married agian..

Have a wonderful day

spec

No doubt that finding a good woman, who can accept that you're a cop, and can deal with what that entails is going to be hard. But, there ARE women out there that would date a cop, and can deal with it. But, it means you have to narrow the field considerably. That can be a good and a bad thing. Don't settle for less, just because you're lonely, or you will end up hurt.

My boyfriend and I have been together 8 years. I've known since we began dating that he wanted to be a cop. Within the past year, he realized that dream. Over the previous 8 years, I put a lot of effort into learning about the profession, talking to other significant others of LEOs, reading books on being in relationships with cops, and getting ready for his career. Is the scheduling hard on us? Of course. Is it going to ruin our relationship? Not if I can help it. I went into it knowing what to expect. Sure, it's going to mean sacrifice and flexibility. But, if done right, those can be wonderful relationship strengtheners. And as long as I know he's as dedicated to us as I am, then I know we can work through all the bumps in the road. We made it through the 6 months of Academy FAR better than either of us expected. And I think that bodes well for us.

The trick is to find a woman who accepts what you do (the last thing you want is to have a girlfriend that is constantly putting down your job, or trying to convince you to do something else), and who can deal with what that means. You need to develop a relationship where you work well together AND apart. The hectic schedules means that she'll often have to attend events without you, so she needs to be comfortable doing her own thing. And she needs to be able to be comfortable with rescheduling birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc -- without blaming YOU. Preferably you want someone who isn't going to be a worry-wart who freaks out everytime you get into your uniform. I realize there are dangers to my boyfriend's job. But, I also realize this he is highly trained, and that the risks aren't as bad as they may seem. Besides, worrying isn't going to make him safer -- just more stressed out.

Hang in there. You'll find someone. In the meantime, you may have to go through many women that don't work. But, be thankful they are showing their true character early on, before you've wasted time with them.

Uh....she's an idiot....sorry. I love cops, always have. As I have gotten older the realities of actually dating one has sunk in, but I still have a great affinity for them. She could have gotten freaked out about the dangers of your job....that is what usually freaks me out.

Holy Old Post Batman

Another example of thread necrophilia. What is this, the 3rd one this week?

Uh....she's an idiot....sorry. I love cops, always have. As I have gotten older the realities of actually dating one has sunk in, but I still have a great affinity for them. She could have gotten freaked out about the dangers of your job....that is what usually freaks me out.Maybe the reality of only replying to currently active posts will sink in some time soon, too ... :rolleyes:

How come you aren't verified??? Just askin'.

He probably works on the parking end of law enforcement. ;)

Despite several earnest attempts of necromancy, this thread is dead, has been dead, and will always be dead. Replying to posts of banned users will not bring them back from the dead either.