Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

...and, I'm thinking: If he and I are divorced but still working at the same dept., how awkward/difficult would that be?

Anyone had this happen?

(He's been there f/t for a few months and I'm a reserve, but am prob. gonna' accept the f/t position that just came open).

I have worked with an ex. Though I wasn't married and I did not share a curtain climber. It was mutual. It is not too bad so long as you both can be adults. If it is bitter, well then I would assume it can be hell. I have not had that experience. Perhaps you should seek a professional opinion, and that way you may be able to avoid the whole divorce issue altogether.

My wife has 6 yrs on and I am on my 4th year. Though I am becoming much more respected within the patrol ranks, my wife is with the Detectives. Its not easy either way. We don't see much at work, but I really don't want to see the other side. It may happen, and if it does, oh well. Guess I will stay on patrol, night shift that much longer. Good luck to you and God Bless

My ex-boyfriend has about 18 years on the same dept. as me, I came on 7 years ago. We met at work and began dating then lived together. Last year we broke up and it got very ugly and unfortunately, the department did get involved. It was very difficult at that time. Now he is on another shift and we very rarely see each other, but it is a little awkward when I do run into him. If I could leave the department to go to another one now I would (for other reasons than just this), but sadly I am unable to do so because of what resulted at work from our split.

My advice to you is if you are going to go your separate ways, then make a clean break entirely. If I were you, I would start looking for another department to work for. I don't know your personal circumstances for a divorce or if you have children together or not, but if you stay there, in my opinion and speaking from my personal experience, it will just make both your lives that much difficult to move on. Not only will it be hard to deal with him daily, but there will be rumors and speculation, then you'll hear things about him and he'll hear things about you - the whole situation has the potential to get real nasty and possibly damaging to your career.

The only other thing I can say is in the meantime to not get into any discussions with him at work about your personal affairs. Work is work, keep your personal life as far away from it as you can. Try to keep your emotions in check and maintain a civil working relationship.

Best of luck to you.

Though I am a very sympathetic person when it comes to friends and family, I think life is what you make it. If you get up with a bad attitude and carry it all day long, thinking negative, negativity will follow you and stay with you throughout the entire day no matter what the problem. But if you make yourself smile, don't worry about things you can't do anything about and think positive, everything has some good in it. Everything and everyone.

Nothing is so bad to waste an entire day on. Life is too short. Be happy with what you have and that you aren't in a situation that's not appealing to you. ;) This would be my advice in any situation, my dear.

I used to work with two married couples who divorced and it caused nothing but arguing and fighting.
However it probably didn't help that the male from one of the couples and the female from the other got together and married.

I already have a great attitude on life. People who KNOW me, know this.

This is just one incident I'm curious about, doesn't mean I have a poor attitude or whatnot. Just a question, nothing more.

Attitude has nothing to do with divorce... sometimes it's the only option left when every other avenue to resolve issues within the marriage have been exhausted. I have a great attitude as well, but I am also a realist and sometimes situations arise where "smiling" just isn't going to help anything. Thinking about a divorce does not mean that your attitude or outlook on life sucks. Divorce is a pretty serious and final matter, I just don't see how anyone can expect to get out of bed everyday and smile because they're getting a divorce and that's going to carry them through the day; it may work on some occasions, but not all of them!

It's not easy... I don't know any former couples that ever said it was a completely pleasant experience. I know people that split from their spouses amicably and managed to maintain a friendship afterwords, but they also didn't have to work with each other. The actual divorce process is stressful and draining and can take it's toll emotionally, even when you think things are running smoothly.

SERENA, if you think you can manage a divorce and continue to work with your ex civilly, as well as he can work civilly with you, then go for it. However if things start to get bumpy, I would take it as a warning, proceed with caution and start looking to go somewhere else. It is extremely difficult to keep your emotions and personal disagreements away from your job when you have to work with someone who you once had an intimate relationship with that is ending. It's not worth the risk to your reputation or career if you cannot do that. You are going to NEED your job more than ever after a divorce and it's extremely important that you both can preserve your composure and keep all contact at work strictly business.

I already have a great attitude on life. People who KNOW me, know this.

This is just one incident I'm curious about, doesn't mean I have a poor attitude or whatnot. Just a question, nothing more.I didn't mean you had a poor attitude, sweetie! :o

I lived with a guy for over 2 years and we worked together as well. We had a rough breakup and it was pretty rough for a few weeks after, but we both decided that neither of us were going anywhere and we ended up just friendly enough to work together. If it does happen that you divorce, I hope you both can avoid bringing your personal life to work.
We have quite a few divorced couples that still work together. I am amazed at one couple that just got divorced about a year ago - they are still very supportive and pleasant to one another.

I used to work with two married couples who divorced and it caused nothing but arguing and fighting.
However it probably didn't help that the male from one of the couples and the female from the other got together and married.

Good grief, that happens in my old dept all the time. Cops marry, divorce and marry other cops.... That's why I never dated anyone that worked for my dept.

I like resurrecting dead threads, confusing others with references to people with names not used on this board, and just stirring up drama. I'll watch my Ps and Qs or I will be banned.



There, I fixed it.

I like resurrecting dead threads, confusing others with references to people with names not used on this board, and just stirring up drama. I'll watch my Ps and Qs or I will be banned.

OMG!!!!!! Sentances, Capitalization, and Paragraphs!!!!!! Please think of those things before posting it I didn't even try to read your post because it was so bad from the begining!

Will a mod please close this thread as it is 3 years old, and will only go downhill from here, lets try to be mature!