Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

You're Not A Cop Until You Taste Them

The department was all astir, there was a lot of laughing and joking due to all the new officers, myself included, hitting the streets today for the first time. After months of seemingly endless amounts of classes, paperwork, and lectures we were finally done with the Police Academy and ready to join the ranks of our department.

All you could see were rows of cadets with huge smiles and polished badges. As we sat in the briefing room, we could barely sit still anxiously awaiting our turn to be introduced and given our beat assignment or, for the lay person, our own portion of the city to "serve and protect."

It was then that he walked in. A statue of a man - 6 foot 3 and 230 pounds of solid muscle, he had black hair with highlights of gray and steely eyes that make you feel nervous even when he wasn't looking at you. He had a
reputation for being the biggest and the smartest officer to ever work our fair city. He had been on the department for longer than anyone could remember and those years of service had made him into somewhat of a legend.

The new guys, or "rookies" as he called us, both respected and feared him. When he spoke even, the most seasoned officers paid attention. It was almost a priviledge when one the rookies got to be around when he would tell one of his police stories about the old days. But we knew our place and never interrupted for fear of being shooed away. He was respected and revered by all who knew him.

After my first year on the department I still had never heard or saw him speak to any of the rookies for any length of time. When he did speak to them all he would say was, "So, you want to be a policeman do you hero?"
I'll tell you what, when you can tell me what they taste like,
then you can call yourself a real policeman."

This particular phrase I had heard dozens of times. Me and my buddies all had bets about "what they taste like" actually referred to. Some believed it referred to the taste of your own blood after a hard fight. Others thought it referred to the taste of sweat after a long day's work. Being on the
department for a year, I thought I knew just about everyone and everything.

So one afternoon, I mustered up the courage and walked up to him. When he looked down at me, I said "You know, I think I've paid my dues. I've been in plenty of fights, made dozens of arrests, and sweated my butt off just like everyone else. So what does that little saying of yours mean anyway?" With that, he merely stated, "Well, seeing as how you've said and done it all, you tell me what it means, hero." When I had no answer, he shook his head and snickered, "rookies," and walked away.

The next evening was to be the worst one to date. The night started out slow, but as the evening wore on, the calls became more frequent and dangerous. I made several small arrests and then had a real knock down drag out fight. However, I was able to make the arrest without hurting the suspect or myself. After that, I was looking forward to just letting the shift wind down and getting home to my wife and daughter.

I had just glanced at my watch and it was 11:55, five more minutes and I would be on my way to the house. I don't know if it was fatigue or just my imagination, but as I drove down one of the streets on my beat, I thought I saw my daughter standing on someone else's porch. I looked again but it was not my daughter as I had first thought but merely a small child about her age. She was probably only six or seven years old and dressed in an oversized shirt that hung to her feet. She was clutching an old rag doll in her arms that looked older than me.

I immediately stopped my patrol car to see what she was doing outside her house at such an hour by herself. When I approached, there seemed to be a sigh of relief on her face. I had to laugh to myself, thinking she sees the hero policeman come to save the day. I knelt at her side and asked what she was doing outside.

She said "My mommy and daddy just had a really big fight and now mommy won't wake up." My mind was reeling. Now what do I do? I instantly called for backup and ran to the nearest window. As I looked inside I saw a man standing over a lady with his hands covered in blood, her blood. I kicked
open the door, pushed the man aside and checked for a pulse, but unable to find one. I immediately cuffed the man and began doing CPR on the lady.

It was then I heard a small voice from behind me, "Mr. Policeman, please make my mommy wake up." I continued to perform CPR until my backup and medics arrived but they said it was too late. She was dead.
I then looked at the man. He said, "I don't know what happened. She was yelling at me to stop drinking and go get a job and I had just had enough. I just shoved her so she would leave me alone and she fell and hit her head."
As I walked the man out to the car in handcuffs, I again saw that little girl. In the five minutes that has passed, I went from hero to monster. Not only was I unable to wake up her mommy, but now I was taking daddy away too.

Before I left the scene, I thought I would talk to the little girl. To say what, I don't know. Maybe just to tell her I was sorry about her mommy and daddy. But as I approached, she turned away and I knew it was useless and I would probably make it worse.

As I sat in the locker room at the station, I kept replaying the whole thing in my mind. Maybe if I would have been faster or done something different, just maybe that little girl would still have her mother. And even though it may sound selfish, I would still be the hero.

It was then that I felt a large hand on my shoulder. I heard that all too familiar question again, "Well, hero, what do they taste like?"

But before I could get mad or shout some sarcastic remark, I realized that all the pent up emotions had flooded the surface and there was a steady stream of tears cascading down my face. It was at that moment that I realized what the answer to his question was.

Tears.

With that, he began to walk away, but he stopped. "You know, there was
nothing you could have done differently," he said. "Sometimes you can do
everything right and still the outcome is the same. You may not be the
hero you once thought you were, but now you ARE a police officer."

I am speechless. I have chills running up and down my spine, similar to when I hear the national anthem.

Excelent story....I printed it out and am going to show it to all my friends.

Thanks for posting it.

Wow. Very moving.

OfficerBigelow and sw2copgirl,

I felt the same way the first time I read it.

I am glad you enjoyed it!

:)

Wow!! Amazing how many emotions you can feel by reading one piece!

I've printed this out for my husband. Thank you for sharing.

All I can say is WOW!!

That is very moving...

i just found and printed this for all the officers at my pd to see. in a time where men are to be manly so to speak, this story reminds us all that real men feel.

extremly moving, i had to read it twice,

WOW That was one of the most moving and emtional things I have ever read...Thanks...:eek:

Fighstee12 your CO is the right in every way. There si so much you can do I have been a Firefighter from 16 as a Junior firefighter and i am now 25 it is a hard thing to feel like you failed but it is a fact of our lives we are only human and we can't work miricals. I too have been in such a situation where i have siad if i only looked here or went here first. that little 5 year old girl would still be alive. It's tough and I thought i could never stop tearing myself up over it, i am still sad at her death, but one of the vetrens of my department put my mind on the right direction, i look up to all the men in my department, even though i have been here for a few years now we all look at things diffrently and we should look to our brothers and sisters after all we are a family. Just rember we are all here for ecah other cause we do something special everyday for our communties. My heart goes out to you, be strong and keep up the good fight.
Thank you for shareing your story with us.

Incredibly emotional...........i feel almost weightless after reading that! Where did you find this?

Do you know who originally wrote this?

Anyway's, great story. I showed my dad, and he loved it.

I love it whenever somebody revives this thread.... I get to read it again, and affects me just as strongly........

That's truly beautiful.

I have to agree with everone. Thank you for posting that. I've gotta to send that to my police officer friends. :)

Too bad more people can't read that, especially those that feel police officers have no feelings.


codered51
In the Line of Duty (http://www.geocities.com/bree9191)

It brought tears to my eyes

I read this a long time ago, and just read it again. It kind of brings me back down to earth. I am so excited that one day I might be a police officer, and this story puts things in perspective for me. Thanks for posting it.

Oh My God this is totally intense...thanks for sharing...this is an awesome post.

Once again excellent story.

Can a Mod stick this?

Unbelieveable. That simply is the most touching thing I have read in years. I would love to know the nameof the person who wrote that. I'm still in awe after reading it 20 min ago.

Thank you for sharing that story.
It is very moving....

Gives me goose bumps.

I'm so happy this thread came back to life. I remember reading this months ago, and I've tried to find it ever since. Amazing story.

Ya its a very good story!

Wow. Don't know what else to say.

Awesome story. <3

That's probably the best cop story I've ever heard. Thanks.

Thank you for posting. It really puts things into perspective.

amazing story for sure!

simply touching. Great story.

very moving...i have cold chills and a big lump in my throat that probably won't go away for days

This is definitely a thread that could never die. Thank you.

That was very touching. Also very true!

That was very touching. Also very true!

I concur.

Great story

That was an amazing story...thanks for sharing!

:cool:

I know the story so I didn't need to read it again.

While it is quite emotional, I do not believe that we should be led into thinking that this or other similar in that it is unofficial standard (not a cop till you have been divorced, shot, and [not clear on this one: had a heart attack? have an addiction?]) is the necessary transistion point when one becomes a cop. For if this or the other is a necessary transistion point, then what does that say of those who have done excellent jobs in protection yet have never found themselves in this situation?
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("As far as you are concerned, time traveler, I am the law here and I decide whether or not you have violated any of it."--Captain Lambert, (wtte), "Time Trax")

SnowLeopard, I take your point but every occupation has its mythologies. And mythologies have a purpose.

While this one might be considered a little overdrawn I always read it almost as a cautionary tale, similar to one of Aesop's fables but this with a more serious air about it.

You're right of course, there is no rite of passage for cops, no moment when we know we've passed from someone trying to grapple with the job to someone who can do it almost without thinking. It's a gradual thing. But the point of this particular story is, I think, to warn us all that while it's great to whizz around in a patrol car with all the paraphernalia and the bulletproof attitude, that we shouldn't lose our humanity, that only when we can reconcile the authority and seeming invicibility with our humanity can we then say, yes, that's it, I'm a cop.

Just my take on it :)

It may be at the point when one realizes their mortality.

Mine was doing intel work when we were listening off the coast of Libya and I realized there that if an aircraft strafed the ship, given where my post was, I'd probably be dead.......if I was lucky.

I've had my domestics as well. My best was, so far, when I diffused one before it could erupt violently. I don't know if it would have or not but with by asking and getting permission, I removed the main means that it might have.

But........that was then and now? Probably my best odds for my next job is fraud investigation, art theft, or environmental work. Which comes to a point: we picture the patrol as the police. Certainly a lot are like that, certainly most enter thru that way..........but it's not the only police. The mythology fails at that point because if that is the only to know and your line of work will never take you take direction, then how can you?

The way I see police work is ST:TNG's version of "Die Hard" in "Starship Mine". Picard is fighting the terrorists, they know he is there, but they don't know who he is. They believe him to be a security officer, a LT. or a LCDR. Working on that line of thought for moment that this fit bald older man is, what do we have?

We have someone who is quite capable, able to handle all aspects of police work, from investigations to protection to counter insurgency. Someone who can serve society by making it safer. A guardian that you can count on but that you don't want to mess with.

Where is the humanity in that, the empathy? It may be there but not directly in that he loves by loving his society, working to protect it. He is no one super human, no one out for glory. But he knows what needs to be done and does it. There maybe no tears in it, but to me, the role of a society guardian is what it means to be a cop.
--------------------------------------------------------
("What is it you do, anyhow?"--nurse
"Oh, I travel a lot. Sort of an executive troubleshooter."--007, (wtte), "Thunderball")

The mythology is one-dimensional. It serves a purpose. I suppose in many ways it is a rite of passage. Now I'm contradicting myself but I'm happy to discard non-useful views.

I've been through that rite of passage, so have you apparently. I've done the patrol thing and moved past it and into other things in policing. I remember when I went into plainclothes investigations. It seemed quite clinical, removed from patrol work as if it were another job completely. Instead of the long periods of boredom punctuated by short, intense moments of excitement (to paraphrase Robert Graves on War - can't allow myself to plagiarise you understand), I found it rather un-exciting. Lots of phone calls, leg work, talking, checking, re-checking and eventually getting a result - perhaps. It was all a bit of an anti-climax really. Of course there were good moments. And strangely more intense, in many ways, than working patrol. Lengthy and complicated investigations mean you get to know the victim as a person and not just a statement. It's different.

But I still find that patrol is the prism through which all other policing experiences are viewed. Even here on RP just recently I was told to get back to "reality". That '"reality" of course is patrol. The mythology reinforces itself.

In every day life what people sees as "A COP" is the LEO that wear the uniform as a day to day job....

I think that even if we are all working to reach the same goal .... There is a clear distinction between LEO in the field... and investigators....

Both job are equally necessary but as Oscar said.... the LEO'S in the field will deal with reality on an every day to day basis!

As Oscar said in another similar tread:
1-You don't need to be street patrol officer to be a good investigator
2-If you've been a patroll officer,you can be a good investigator
3-If one is an investigator(without street patrol experience) and can get street patroll experience then he should ... it will only make him a better investigator.

:D

I agree. What most people think of as a cop is the patrol officer which generally, is okay. Of course, it might put them in something of a problem if they come across other kinds of cops and don't realize it.............like Coast Guard.

But be that as it may........even when there are those cops who are both patrol and investigators such as park rangers or in that kind of police system where it is not specialist but generalist where the officer is the representative of the gov't for hours around.

And, of course, that is mostly the standpoint I approach police work from. I started off in a program that could had produced a USCG commission, did drug boat busts with them, was an intel officer who got lots of shore patrol time, and when I was badged, ran a generalist police department from traffic control to anti-terrorism operations. It was a generalist approach but it was the only police area that uses a generalist approach.

But....most of the public sees the patrol officer when they think police. But....the mythology is meant for police, but the public. Where the transistion occurs, in the public that then becomes the patrol, then the mythology takes meaning. But where the transistion doesn't, then it loses.....IMHO.
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("Then we have the blue light in Rules of the Road light scheme. That is for law enforcement only. But.....if you see that light, it is not coming at you, it is coming for you."--QM instructor, (wtte), Lesson on USCG Rules of the Road)

i retired after 25 years.i can not count the times i came home and went into a room by myself.i thought it would all be over after the tears.then the bed sweats from the dreams about the same things.being a cop will never be easy and will never be for everyone.

WOW. What a touching story.
I joined this forum to get a new perspective on Law Enforcement O's. This story certainly has me *shivering* and thinking a few times over, about my preconcieved idea.

Excellent story. Two thumbs up! :)

I googled the title and found this ..

http://members.rogers.com/p.halsey/writings/tastethem.html
You're Not A Cop Until You Taste Them

Author

Bernie Moss is a "Senior Officer" for the Corpus Christi Police Dept

Wow, that was an icredible story.
I know a lot of people I'm sending that story to, people who forget that cops are human too.

I found a really good website with inspirationals for police officers and their loved ones. It might help some people to understand a little more if they read some of it... and just as a warning, a lot of it will make you cry.

www.cuffemnstuffem.com

Crucial.....very moving.

Wow, Thats an incredible story, unbelievably moving.

Bumpin this beast up!

I'm over here, all teary-eyed. Darnit! I'm glad you posted this! Darnit!

LR

Does it count if the story made me "taste them"? I too am speechless. Thank you

I'm speechless....thanks for sharing that.

wow im speechless all i have to say...knowing both is it really puts in perspective the different mindsets of rookies and seasoned officers that have been doing this for hald of their lives.
just warmed my heart in some sad way but im just weird like that

[Too bad more people can't read that, especially those that feel police officers have no feelings.]
Well, in the uniform there's a human being, and behind the badge there's a heart.

Very well written.

Tigress.

Excellent story..really makes you feel like your there.

I know this story was posted long before, I joined this forum, but in my exploring the site I found it, Great story.

I read a lot of police poems and stories and I must say that I have yet to run across anything that moving. My eyes welled up and it made me think of some of the situations I have been in, so true.
Great Post.

This is the most moving peice I've ever read. It's a wonderful peice.

GREAT STORY, Late post, but amazing story!!

This is a thread I hope never goes away.

Gripping story. definitley one to think about.

I'm sitting at my desk almost in tears, that was the the best written piece I've ever read.....Thanks, I hope my husband appreciates that as much as I did...

That was wonderful, what a great read.

:)

Yup, it is a very touching story.

I actually shared this with a cop on my ridealong.
I printed 2 copys one to give to him.
he said he would post it up at the PD

Wow is all I can say.

As a 12 year veteran Paramedic I can tell you that story is as real as it gets. I haven't had to face a situation like that as a LEO but had many, many similar situations as a street medic. It can make or break you. Very moving piece. Thanks.

P.S. I am editing this to add a little wisdom for new officers. As a veteran Medic, who was a FTO for 5 years, I have witnessed similar situations in the EMS arena and have some advice.
The situations LEO's as well as EMS providers get put in can reach this type of outcome very easily, no matter how tough you think you may be, ask for help dealing with it if you have any reservations regarding the outcome of the call. No on will admit to not being able to deal with the job they are expected to perform everyday, but it can change you for a long time if not for good. I have seen excellent Paramedics turn into non-feeling people because of similar incidents. Its not worth it. S%$@ happens and no matter what you do it will rarely be perfect. As long as you have done as you are trained the result is the best that could be hoped for. For the sake of yourself, your family and the public do not become a robot who has no compassion for those who deserve it. If it were me in that story, I have no idea what my reaction would have been. But I can say I would have reacted as trained and found an answer to all my questions, theological and otherwise, somewhere. Veterans of the job can be an excellent place to start but even their advice can be jaded from past experiences. I've heard alot of negative feedback about CISD's but it may be the answer for some. I myself have only attended one and thought it was useless for me but the other crew members involved got alot out of it. Every officer, medic, etc. needs to have a support option. You may think nothing can affect you , but it will. Maybe not today or next week but eventually something will happen that questions your ability to do your job. Make sure you give yourself the support you need. Your family, your department and your community deserve it.
Thank you for listening to me banter. That is all. :)

Nothing to say - except "Bravo"

I really liked it. :)

Wow, when I read the title I was expecting a Krispy Kreme review. :D

speechless..

What an amazing story. This one needs to be bumped back to the top of the list of threads!

Wow. My boyfriend starts the Academy in a month... I am trying to learn as much as I can about what he will be going through. I just teared up reading this... unbelieveable. Thanks for posting it.

Holy crap! That is an absolutely touching story. I'm definitely saving that one.

Wow....just....WOW.

Awesome! So glad this story and storys alike and LEO posts are being shared

Very good story...

I read this to my wife. Very moving story.

Wow!!!

All I can say is that is truly beautiful. Thanks for sharing

If you have an instructor like mine, you'll taste them far before you hit the streets. I saw crimes against children that'll keep me chilled until the day I die. I never want to get into sex crimes area of detectives.

Wow! That is a great story. Thank you so much for posting it.

that is an amazing story!!! im going to print it and hang it up to remind myself to stay grounded for when i become an officer. i don't know what else to say except WOW.

Awesome story, it is on its way overseas now! Thanks for posting that! It is very touching!

Amazing really makes you think

Wow, this is a very moving post, I'm going to print this and take it with me to the academy if I get chosen to go there. Thanks for posting this, it was an honor to read it.

Wow.. amazing story... As others have said before me - something to print out and share.

I cried.

I needed to read that after the night I had this evening....Thank You/ Smokenmirrors1

Just read this for the first time, i then read a few of the reply's. They say all that could be said.

thankyou

There is no doubt that im going to remember that story for the rest of my life.... Thank You

Nice.... As an officer, I am truly moved.

Thank you, very moving. Made me tear up reading it..

oh man. just read it and WOW,
i dont even know what to say
im going into the police academy and now i know whats its goingto be like out there. i think thats why i want to be an officer to try to prevent things like that
even though i know everything doesnt have a happy ending i think in almost all situations like that he did do the best that he could have done and just hink if you didnt drive by it might have been alot worse for that little girl.
and i think im with everyone else that had a small tear in your eye reading that

and i think im with everyone else that had a small tear in your eye reading that

Yep

I read that for the 1st time, WOW

When I came to the last word of the story, Tears... chills started coming up my back all the way to my hair. Very touching

I just wanted to bring this post back for the sheer beauty of it. I re-read it at least once a week...

Great story!

Very powerful story. Thank you....

I tear up everytime I read that.....

That was a great story- thanks for sharing. :)

I am not a cop. I want to be one. Someday, hopefully, I will be one. I just read that story and felt the chills like when you hear the National Anthem! Was this a "story" or was this a first hand account?

wow That got to be hard.

That is a moving story. This is something that everybody should read. It will put a better picture in someone's eyes of what a police officer does deal with from time to time.

awesome

amazing. That's the first time I read that, and it is very well written. Like many others said it's like I was there.

Do you know who originally wrote this?

Anyway's, great story. I showed my dad, and he loved it.

I wrote that story about 5 years ago and it was originally published in the police beat magazine.

Wow! Great story. Thanks for sharing.

Wow! Great story. Thanks for sharing.
And it was an even better story back in 2002. :p

This may be an old thread but I think it does a lot of good to bring it back every so often.
Sure was a great story, hard not to get watery eyes.
Keep it around.

great story.....

Since this thread continues to be popular in this sub-forum, I'll make it a sticky for others.

Wow...very touching story..

2nd time I read it, and I still feel the same way. Great story.

Wow, really moving story. Thank you for sharing.