Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

I'm currently processing for two departments in Los Angeles...I've been married for about 7 years and have a 5 year old daughater...I know there is going to be a great deal more stress in our lies with this career choice and was wanting any suggestion as to make this transition easy for my love ones...any advice would be great. Thank you.

Accommodate your family!!!


Yes, the job is going to change the way your family functions, but it doesn't have to change the way you interact. The biggest change is going to be your schedule and the amount of stress you bring home.

For the hectic schedule, you just have to make sure you devote time to the family....just do it no matter how difficult it seems because this will reinforce your family and your support system. For instance, when my husband worked on Sundays, we would all go to church on Saturday night. We would have big breakfasts instead of huge dinners if his schedule allowed him to be home in the morning. On Friday nights we have movie night. The girls pick the movie, we watch it with them no ifs ands or buts. Pop the corn, buy the chocolate, these are the times they'll remember if work keeps you home more often then you like.

As far as the stress of the job, find something that helps you unwind from it (ie...toss the ball with the kids, video games, exercise, pray, sing, whatever it takes to get your mind off of work). And the most important thing, don't get involved with politics at work. It is possible to do your job without getting involved with the "who's screwin' who" of the job. Getting involved with that crap only adds to the stress of the work.

P.S. When I said "who's screwin' who".....I meant coniving behavior, not the other. LMAO. Sorry about that.

Thanks Island Girl...I don't think I ever wanted anything as bad as I want to be a part of the Thin Blue Line...my wife's on board and feels, as I do, that this career choice is a noble and honorable cause. I hope I make it and hope my family is okay with all that may come…it is nice knowing that there is support out there, my family means the world to me, and to be honest, I don’t think I would make it through without them. Again thanks.
-Michael

I wish the best of everything to you and your family. You sound perfect for the job. Just remember that it is a team effort.

Thank you for the encouragement…it’s all about teamwork. As a former teacher and mental health clinician for children & young adults I have seen what drugs, violence, drugs, etc… does to families and especially youngsters. I’m too old to care about personal glory, but having a kid of my own really has made me think about my sense of duty to my community and, above all, to her and my wife. I hope I measure up and prove deserving in joining your ranks in fighting the good fight.
God bless all of you and those you hold dear…
Michael

Iwanna, it sounds like your awareness and attitude will get you through any potential rough spots. Best of luck to you and your family.

when both spouses are aboard they will have a much better understanding of what the other goes thru.i put my job first when a rookie and it almost cost me my family.i thank god everyday that i changed.having a stress reliever is great.talking to each other is great.knowing when to leave the other person alone is greater.i am a 5th generation retired officer. i am the only one that stayed married to the same woman.i will be married 33 years in november.people in depts love to gossip and play games. that is just human natyre.i avoided all this by staying to myself.i t made me feel alone at times but i always knew my family would be there.my family also knew i would always be there.i was the best partner you could have on the job.but,my reputation was that i did not fool around about my family.

1 year, 7 months.........

I'm currently processing for two departments in Los Angeles...I've been married for about 7 years and have a 5 year old daughater...I know there is going to be a great deal more stress in our lies with this career choice and was wanting any suggestion as to make this transition easy for my love ones...any advice would be great. Thank you.

I have been doing this job for over thirty years. My biggest regret in life is missing my children's Christmas plays, soccer and volleyball games, etc.

In my youth, I felt the "job" was more important. In retrospect, I could have monitored my radio and at least made an appearance at those functions.

Just remember that the family is really the only ones that will stick with you in the end. Don't put them in second place. If you do this, you will be fine.

1 year, 7 months.........


LMAO

P.S. When I said "who's screwin' who".....I meant coniving behavior, not the other. LMAO. Sorry about that.


I think both interpretations of what you said should be avoided. As soon as you start playing the office gossip/politics game, you subject yourself to being a victim of it too.

My SO tries very hard not to get wrapped up the "he said/she said" garbage that goes on in his department. I think, in the long run, it'll be better for him. He's less likely to make an enemy as a result of juvenile gossip.

you know that the original topic was created 2 years ago right?

Yes, I am aware of that. But, the topic is still open, and other people may see it and still wish to respond or gather information from it. As long as the topic isn't locked, why not try to keep this section alive?

when i was much younger i put my workd before my family. all i thought about was the job. i almost lost my family. i was never so miserable in my life.i had 2 very young kids that i loved and a wife that i loved.it seemed as if everyone was running around on each other at work.i never understood that.i could never being married to anyone else or for anyone else raising my kids.others would gossip and try to make me as miserable as they were.i ended up seperated and filed for divorce.i was even more miserable.i sat down on a thursday evening 29 years ago and had a good talk with myself.i wanted my family back.i called and we went to pizza inn. me,wife, amd 2 sons all just stared. my youngest started crying saying he wanted his dad.right then i did what i had to do to put my family first. i will be married 33 years in nov. my boys are grown and we are very close.the pressure of your job will come home with you and you have to learn to seperate that.the kids will help with thatalways keep the family in front of everything.both spouses in the same work will cause some probs. you will both have the stress at home.
i know i have already responded before but the importance of family can never be said enough. my family made me a better man,husband,father, and grandpa.get a sense of humor and learn to laugh at things.god bless and good luck. island girl said it well.

others would gossip and try to make me as miserable as they were.

Boy you said that well. That was a very intimate thing to share, dep. Thank you.

I think that gossip is the worst part of my job - people see that I am a happy, friendly, bubbly person, and I become a target for those who aren't happy in their life. I am in a relationship with a guy I work with, and we will not tell ANYONE at work because they will try and find ways to break us up.

i saw the gossip ruin so many marriages. people were splitting and divorcing all the time.not 1 single person that i knew well stayed married.i saw one this past year that was married for the 4th time. i just do not know how they do that. my love for my family overshadows everything else.rumors would be started just for the purpose of breaking people up. it was thought of as funny. i disassociated myself from most just to stay away from all that.there was one lady that even called my wife and told her i got some girl pregnant.it almost split us up. i was so pissed i went to internal affairs and ask them to do something.i was never told the results of the investigation but people avoided me like the plague.i do not know why people act this way

This doesn't shock me at all. I'm embarrassed to admit that one of our operators did the same kind of thing. She was on a ridealong and started gossiping about one of the dispatchers with the officer she was riding with; saying the dispatcher would sleep around with anyone (not true, the girl in question is a wonderful person and quite sweet). Little did she know, but the officer was friends with the dispatcher's family, and he called her mother and told her what was said. The mother told the daughter, who of course told the mother it wasn't true. The dispatcher has class, and didn't go back and tell the operator that she knew what was said.

I know that because I am friendly and bubbly and joke with my officers, that some people around me and officers think that I want them. It was affecting my relationship with my boyfriend (who wasn't even involved in LE), and for a while it got so bad that I was considering leaving. Thank goodness for my two best friends at work; who convinced me to stick it out. Now those who caused all those problems for me are having issues - people talking about them and they are having a miserable time at work.