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10-04-04, 05:13 AM
A gentleman from up north had a business trip to Texas, which he looked forward to, as Texans had been known for the friendly nature to strangers.
Upon arriving in town, he realized he was several hours too early, he figured he could kill some time at the local bar and grill. As he walked in the smell of steak and potatoes wafted slowly through the air.
he was seated, handed a menu, and left to decide. The waitress returned and asked if he has made up his mind yet. He smiled and said "yes, I would like this small steak here, well done." she told him that the steaks were cooked specially on a grill, and that it would be several minutes.
Finally, about 20 minutes later she came over to him, straining under a HUGE covered platter. She placed in front of him and removed the lid, before him lay 120 ounces of black angus beef, cooked to perfection. As he stared in disbeleif at the meat in front of him, she told him " you'll get used to it, everything's bigger in Texas"
He ate, and ate, and ate until he feared he would be sick, that was some good steak.
He walked up to the bar, and asked for a beer. All that steak had made him thrirsty for more than iced tea.
The bartender sat a gigantic mug in front of him, it must have held three gallons of beer. "Bartender, you must have me confused with someone else, I asked for one serving of beer" The bartender looked at him, smiled and said "Buddy, that is one beer, everything's bigger in Texas"
He finally finished his huge beer, and realized he need to go to the restroom. All that beer was effecting more than his kidney's, he was drunk.
"aye bartender, where's the little boy's room, my eyeballs are floating"
"down the hall, last door on the left"
The guy, being tipsy from all that beer, misunderstood his directions, and entered the last door on the right, which was a hotel swimming pool.
The bartender heard him splash, and couch, and ran to help him. He got to the poolside, and saw the man had gotten himself afloat, but still having trouble. "hey, you wait right there, I'll get help for you"
The poor guy slurred as he spoke.
" I don't need any help, but don't you dare flush this damn thing"
Upon arriving in town, he realized he was several hours too early, he figured he could kill some time at the local bar and grill. As he walked in the smell of steak and potatoes wafted slowly through the air.
he was seated, handed a menu, and left to decide. The waitress returned and asked if he has made up his mind yet. He smiled and said "yes, I would like this small steak here, well done." she told him that the steaks were cooked specially on a grill, and that it would be several minutes.
Finally, about 20 minutes later she came over to him, straining under a HUGE covered platter. She placed in front of him and removed the lid, before him lay 120 ounces of black angus beef, cooked to perfection. As he stared in disbeleif at the meat in front of him, she told him " you'll get used to it, everything's bigger in Texas"
He ate, and ate, and ate until he feared he would be sick, that was some good steak.
He walked up to the bar, and asked for a beer. All that steak had made him thrirsty for more than iced tea.
The bartender sat a gigantic mug in front of him, it must have held three gallons of beer. "Bartender, you must have me confused with someone else, I asked for one serving of beer" The bartender looked at him, smiled and said "Buddy, that is one beer, everything's bigger in Texas"
He finally finished his huge beer, and realized he need to go to the restroom. All that beer was effecting more than his kidney's, he was drunk.
"aye bartender, where's the little boy's room, my eyeballs are floating"
"down the hall, last door on the left"
The guy, being tipsy from all that beer, misunderstood his directions, and entered the last door on the right, which was a hotel swimming pool.
The bartender heard him splash, and couch, and ran to help him. He got to the poolside, and saw the man had gotten himself afloat, but still having trouble. "hey, you wait right there, I'll get help for you"
The poor guy slurred as he spoke.
" I don't need any help, but don't you dare flush this damn thing"