Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

Looking for other " better halfs" of LAPD Officers.

I am a soon to be wife of an LAPD Officer. Ihave found these sites useful in asking questions and preparing myself to be a cops wife . Just wondering about any other LAPD better halfs.

Hi. I've been married for almost 8 years to an LAPD officer. Always happy to talk to others married to the badge (or preparing to marry, in your case.) I have a small circle of girlfriends married to LAPD or LASD, but feel like there is always room for more communication and support among those of us behind the badge. I even started a site a few weeks ago dealing with being married to an LAPD officer. If you want to read more about me...check out my site at www.lapdwife.com. Good luck and welcome to our life! :)

Not LAPD, but my husband was just hired by the Los Angeles Airport Police. He starts the academy next week at Rio Hondo.

Brandy

Good luck to him!

Thanks for the reply.
I am learning more and more than being an Officers better half can be tough, in the book " I love a cop" there's a line that says something like " if you can't deal with (list) you don't belong being married to a cop". He's just started back on watch 3 so we will see very little of each other ( don't live together ) but we have been dealing with our sparce time very well lately and learning better ways to do so but all the support can be incredibly helful at times!

If you want to read more about me...check out my site at www.lapdwife.com. Good luck and welcome to our life! :)



nice site lapdwife :) and welcome from a fellow newbie mjhdt07

thanks nirvana girl and mjhdt07!

I've been doing the site for about a month now. There's been good traffic on it from the LA locals, but you wouldn't believe the hits I'm getting now dealing with our latest beating-on-tape incident. In trying to stand up for our men and women in blue during this, I'm taking a lot of heat. But, you know, I think it's worth it. With all of the risks my husband takes out there, it's the least I can do to stand up for him (and his colleagues) in the media.

well...and I'm having a lot of fun doing it too. :)

lapdwife,

Good blog you have there! I'm a big fan of the LAPD, look forward to checking on your site and getting some inside info. Considering how blogs are taking off, there aren't nearly enough cop blogs out there.

cecilVA,
thanks so much! It's great to come to this forum and feel the support from others who know what life is like from our side. I'm definitely hooked : )

Thanks so much for the replies, and thanks for the info LAPDwife, the blog looks great, I will definatly spend some time there .
I understand the heat of the recent "beatings" and how you defend, there, doing that.
Everyones like " how do you deal with the embarresment of marring LAPD right now?" I'm not embarressed, the investigation isn't over buit I was running down a dark ally along the river in Compton after all that chasing and thought the guy had a weapon I'd possibly lose my head , if thats what happened, and if one cop did yell gun, then, like I said, the investigation isn't over yet. As for the high fives afterwards, I'm suprised none of that was caught from the two camara's, odd I think and as for the " beating on the head with the flashlight" ok his nose and face hit the ground , which wasn't something needing to be avoided as the officer was running and took him down as should be ( although he should have held his gun while another officer took him down, thats the biggest mistake I saw) but if you where to be hit 11 times on the ehad with that flashlight it would crush your skull in and the nose wouldn't be " a little red it would be broken , imagine your husband ( saying this so you can picture the strength) slamming the flashlight into your head...would you survive with only minor abrasions? No. Perhaps the officer went overbourd with 11, but I have also sen how often these guy's are on drugs and even with five cops on a guy it can be hard to get cuffs on and from the tape you can not see what the guy was doing or not doing, many suspects are being cooroportive and then all of a sudden they try to give trouble too.
I have listened to tapes that where recorded by my guy on the field ( often has to do this) and these guy's are begging for a slam in the face, I know I would lose my temper and admire as I lesten to the cops in the tape being completely calm.

It's a tough situation but these guy's are out there rsiking there asses to protect the idiotic citizens that are dissing them right now, but when they need some help who are they gonna call? Sure as hell isn't going to be the ghost busters!


I also had a black friend of mine tell me ( i am part black myself) that perhaps it wouldn't always be black suspects/criminals and white cops if more black men joined the force and less joined gangs and trouble.


Perhaps this is true, I am sure that the LAPD would love to have more black cops on the force to keep the white/black problems to a lesser issue.

I have noticed LA has a huge thing about white/black, remember the OJ Simpson trial?
It needs to stop turning to an issue of colors, because it's not, the cops in the LAPD are totally watched for any joking and whatnot of color relation.
I know one cop who was put into classes? because he made a slight joke, they asked if he has issues with race and was prejudice ,his responce " I'm a white man married to an asian woman and my sister is a Lesbian who is together with a black woman and they are adopting a child ofMexican race, how racisit could I be?"

I am from Texas and part black myself so I understand how things can be about race, but LA needs to stop.

Thanks for the support and letting me ramble!

I am a "wife in training" :) right now and my boyfriend currently works for an agency in Nor Cal. He is strongly considering LAPD which has me pretty nervous. When I think of LAPD I think of a super dangerous department to work for. He would be a lateral transfer and from what I've been told he will have a little more ability to have a say in where he is placed. I'm not sure if that's true... One thing that has me really concerned is that we're going to be getting engaged soon and I heard a rumor that the first couple years an officer works for LAPD he is more married to his job than his wife. I don't necessarily mean on an emotional level, because I think every officer has a choice whether to bring home his work or not. But more so I mean the department being super demanding of their officers. Can any LAPD girlfriends or wives give me some insight into whether this is really the case? I am so looking forward to getting engaged and married to him but am terrified he may never be around to enjoy it with me. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated!:confused:

First thing I would recommend is that you and your fiancee make sure that you keep the lines of communication open during this time. Be honest with each other about your fears, your hopes and what you want for the future together. Yes, the early years of being on the job can be hard on a relationship, but if you work together at it, you'll come out that much stronger.

I asked my husband about the lateral transfer scoop - he said that yes, he can draw up a "wishlist" of areas he would like to work but that he'll most likely do a probation time when he first comes on the job with LAPD, and that probation time he doesn't really get a choice of where he goes.

Yes, the hours will probably be sucky. As a new guy, he probably won't be doing the 9-5, so you'll need to prepare for that. Learn to be flexible and remember that this won't last forever. If he's working nights, have your "dates" be for lunch at nice restaurants. (less crowded, less expensive even. When we were dating, Jake was working from 2-10. We had a lot of brunch dates and picnics. Our weekends were on Monday and Tuesday, but we made it work.

Also, it's good to have a support system. Girlfriends who understand and are supportive, other police wives who can be there to answer questions, etc. There is an LAPD Wives Association you can look into once you are married that offers support. Also, check out the many blogs and forums out there where you can ask questions like this and get in touch with other women who can "mentor" you through this transition. (I'll send you a private email to follow this up with more info).

As for is the job more dangerous? I'm not an LAPD officer, just married to one, so I can't really answer that, but I'd say that for comfort look at the kind of man/officer your fiancee is. If you are assured that he is an experienced, common-sense, tactical-savvy type of officer then that should give you a sense of security as he is on the job. (If he's a Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon wanna-be, well that's a whole other issue) : )

You'll be fine. It's a good point in your favor that you're thinking ahead and already doing your leg work before he transfers. The better prepared you are, the better off you both will be.

I am a "wife in training" :) right now and my boyfriend currently works for an agency in Nor Cal. He is strongly considering LAPD which has me pretty nervous. When I think of LAPD I think of a super dangerous department to work for. He would be a lateral transfer and from what I've been told he will have a little more ability to have a say in where he is placed. I'm not sure if that's true... One thing that has me really concerned is that we're going to be getting engaged soon and I heard a rumor that the first couple years an officer works for LAPD he is more married to his job than his wife. I don't necessarily mean on an emotional level, because I think every officer has a choice whether to bring home his work or not. But more so I mean the department being super demanding of their officers. Can any LAPD girlfriends or wives give me some insight into whether this is really the case? I am so looking forward to getting engaged and married to him but am terrified he may never be around to enjoy it with me. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated!:confused:


Maybe he could consider a smaller PD?

Edit:

Have I done something stupid and posted in a woman only zone? :o :p

Maybe he could consider a smaller PD?

Edit:

Have I done something stupid and posted in a woman only zone? :o :p

ha! Nope, you're fine. :)