Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

I moved back to my hometown early December. My dad proposed to his girlfriend of 6 years on Christmas so we were in the city shopping for wedding stuff the day I met Chris. We met at the hotel my grandparents were staying at when I ran into him as I was jogging across the parking lot to sit in the van and think about the fight I'd had with my best friend. We talked for a while and my parents invited him to join us for a little while so they could meet my new friend.

We spent about an hour talking and laughing and enjoying each others company before he asked my dad if he could steal me away for a bit so we could watch some sci-fi TV shows since we both loved the same shows. The night ended with him driving me to my aunt and uncle's where my folks were staying the night. Chris and I made plans to meet up again the next morning so we could spend more time together.

When my family resumed the wedding shopping in the morning I let Chris know where we were and he caught up to us. I spent an hour sitting in his car while we waited for my family to be done in the store. They invited him to tag along with us while they shopped since they thought he was a sweetheart. Several hours later my family was ready to go home and we asked my family if I could stay in town longer to spend more time with him. With an agreement as to when I'd be home Chris and I went back to his place for dinner and a movie.

That night I knew I had felt love for the first time since I had lost my fiance (a US marine) overseas. At the end of the night he drove me home, a 2 hour drive one way, and before we parted ways he asked me to be his girlfriend. A short while later we're falling even more madly in love and looking to a bright future together. But every day that we're together I worry about him when he leaves for work. I wonder if he'll be okay. Is he going to get hurt? Am I going to lose the man that I hope to marry some day? I dread the day that he goes off to work and I get the call that something has happened to him.

He knows that I love him and I support his career but he's oblivious to my fear. Does it get easier to cope as time passes? Or does it get worse?

Sorry to hear about you loss, what a terrible pain that must be.

I'm on the hubby side, but I can tell you for my wife that it has gotten easier. It's weird for wives because I think most of them really don't know how capable most cops are. If my wife saw me struggle with a suspect like I do multiple times a week for whatever reason she would lose her mind, it would amaze her.

Not because I'm billy bad ***, but because most of the time people see us as ticket writers... My aunt had been married to her husband who is a 20+ year officer for several years before she ever saw him interact with a suspect. It was simple hand twist and boom some little crackhead goes down to the ground, no biggie...but she was blown away because she never saw her husband as someone that could handle himself.

I know I'm rambling a bit and I'm finding it kind of hard to articulate what I'm thinking, but take solace in the fact that he is well trained and very capable, if he wasn't he wouldn't have made it this far.

Perhaps you should get into a forum with girlfriends and wives of police officers so that you can ask some questions. My wife uses a forum for our local dept on face book and she says it helps.

In reality, if you look at the most dangerous professions, we're below a good many. Actually, according to this, we're #9 out of 15.

http://www.businessinsider.com/most-dangerous-jobs-2011-9#

A lot of people die on the job, but it's usually an accident. Too often, when a police officer is killed, it's an intentional act by another and that puts a different light on it. But in my 28 years, my experience has been the same as stated in this article, most died in traffic related incidents.

IMO, the shift work and stress the cop feels from the job has more of a lasting effect on a relationship than the danger he faces. I missed a lot of Christmases and other times because I couldn't get off work for quite a few years. I also had to learn to change from my work persona to my home persona when I was off duty and some people have problems doing that. Especially sometimes dealing with their kids.

But I wouldn't give up on him just because of his occupation. A lot of cops have great, long lasting relationships, I think it has a lot more to do with the person than the job they have.