Police Officer Preparation & Law Enforcement Resource - Archive

Yesterday my wife was out shopping and she saw another woman with a hairstyle that she admired. She went up to the woman and very politely said something along the lines of, "Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to say that I love your haircut! Would you mind if I asked where you go to get your hair done, and what you ask for to get that particular cut?"

(I wasn't there, but that is what my wife recalls saying.)

The woman seemed to be quite pleasant, but she said, "No, I don't think so."

My wife was a bit puzzled, apologized for bothering her, and continued shopping.

An aisle or two later the woman walked up to my wife and said something like, "I really can't believe you would ask that! That's very rude!" And then she walked away.


It's not a huge deal, but it puzzled my wife and puzzled me.
My question to the female members of the forums is: Would something like that bother you at all? If so, why?

I can't imagine another guy asking where I get my hair cut, but if a guy walked up to me and said he liked my car and where did I get it, or he said 'that's a nice ski jacket, where did you get it?' I really can't imagine getting offended about that.

I am so glad I'm a guy.

Them wimmen can be a bit strange.

You have to be careful giving a compliment.

For example, I once complemented a female coworker on her outfit. She immediately went into a huff and demanded to know what was wrong with the one she was wearing the day before!

Best just not to say anything outside of normal work product.

Best just not to say anything outside of normal work product.

http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll268/jimbellah/304829_2153135983891_1111141268_32105346_316103439 _n.jpg

I was considered aloof by a lot of women at work because I was very careful in my conversations with them, but I saw a lot of my male co workers to down in flames because they said something innocent, but stupid.

I don't know the 'customs' where you are but I can say that neither myself nor any female friends of mine in England or Australia would be offended by that...

How strange.

The only insight I can give is that your wife's opening words remind me of a little marketing ploy that some hairdressers have used in London. While innocently walking down the street you may have a bubbly person ambush you to say "WOW I love your hair? It looks GREAT! Where did you get that done???" The last time this happened to me all I could do was laugh because it had been about 8 months since I'd had a haircut and I did not look like a supermodel. The bubbly person will then launch into telling you about where you could go for your next haircut. And while you're still stunned/surprised/laughing they'll shove a card in your hand.

So my initial thought was that perhaps that lady had been approached previously in that manner.

But sounds like she actually was offended. I'd really like to say it's just that lady. But I admit, women folk are an odd lot...

I don't know the 'customs' where you are but I can say that neither myself nor any female friends of mine in England or Australia would be offended by that...

Seems over the top for here too. I asked my wife and she said she would take it as a compliment. Jerks are included in all genders and international.

If someone asked me that, it wouldn't bother me in the least.

Whether I would take it as a complement or just take it in my stride, I don't know.

But I certainly wouldn't be offended or class it as being bad mannered.

---------------


Them wimmen can be a bit strange.


But I admit, women folk are an odd lot...

Sometimes yes, unfortunately

I'm a female & I'm not scared to admit that I more often then not, shake my head at the way females sometimes think & behave....

I work in a supermarket, & I've generally found that it is the females that get on their high horse about something..... and let you know about it, in uncertain terms & tones.....

Males seem to only be a problem when they are under the influence .... & then they are not cranky, but umm........... :blush5: ........... *runs away fast*

Maybe she misheard or misunderstood her.

One time somebody yelled something out a window... I could have sworn he shouted "Police! Come chat with me and sniff around my vehicle for the odor of fresh marijuana!" Turns out he was just making oinking noises for some reason. Miscommunications happen.

I have given and received compliments to/from women without the type of reaction your wife experienced.

Putting it more succinctly -- that woman was a b1tch.

I have given and received compliments to/from women without the type of reaction your wife experienced.

Putting it more succinctly -- that woman was a b1tch.

That was pretty much what I told my wife.


But this is the kind of thing that will bother my wife for some time... She keeps bringing it up and trying to figure out what she might have said to justify the other woman's reaction.
"Was I too pushy?"
"Was I rude?"
"Was I being too nosy?"
Etc...


I have just told her to try not to worry about it, and to never speak to another woman in any store ever again...

:)

I have just told her to try not to worry about it, and to never speak to another woman in any store ever again...

:)

Or find her car and slash her tires. That helps too!:db:

Back when I lived in MI my then GF's mother had the same experience. She did hair on the side and wanted to learn more about some lady's hair style so she could try to do it.

The only thing that we could think of was that the lady thought it was rude to "steal" her sense of style. Like taking away the only thing she had that made her different from all the other women.
Some people are just very vain. :rolleyes5:

The only thing that we could think of was that the lady thought it was rude to "steal" her sense of style. Like taking away the only thing she had that made her different from all the other women.
Some people are just very vain. :rolleyes5:

Yeah, I'm kinda ticked that Cat_Doc stole my hair style.....

Yeah, I'm kinda ticked that Cat_Doc stole my hair style.....

Come on we all know you got your hair style from Darin.


https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/423840_10151271381015512_661730511_23323557_580374 128_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/423840_10151271381015512_661730511_23323557_580374 128_n.jpg

I wish!!! I can comb my hair with a washrag....

Yesterday my wife was out shopping and she saw another woman with a hairstyle that she admired. She went up to the woman and very politely said something along the lines of, "Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to say that I love your haircut! Would you mind if I asked where you go to get your hair done, and what you ask for to get that particular cut?"

(I wasn't there, but that is what my wife recalls saying.)

The woman seemed to be quite pleasant, but she said, "No, I don't think so."

My wife was a bit puzzled, apologized for bothering her, and continued shopping.

An aisle or two later the woman walked up to my wife and said something like, "I really can't believe you would ask that! That's very rude!" And then she walked away.


It's not a huge deal, but it puzzled my wife and puzzled me.
My question to the female members of the forums is: Would something like that bother you at all? If so, why?

I can't imagine another guy asking where I get my hair cut, but if a guy walked up to me and said he liked my car and where did I get it, or he said 'that's a nice ski jacket, where did you get it?' I really can't imagine getting offended about that.

There's one of two possibilities: She misheard your wife or she's a psycho.

I see no room for any other explanations.

I've had people compliment my hair or outfit or makeup or whatever before, and NEVER have I been offended. I've delivered compliments of the same nature and have also never received any negative feedback. I don't see how you can, considering the person thought it looked so good, they want to try it out themselves!

Sorry your wife had to put up with that cattiness. I don't understand women sometimes...:rolleyes5:

I am so glad I'm a guy.

First time I read that there was an 'a' where there is a 'u'. Second reading was much better. :).

I'll put it more bluntly than some of the other men have.

Women are freaking psychotic.

I actually had a long list but it disappeared.

Lets put it this way: If I saw a woman who's hairstyle I liked and asked that question - the polite answer is what your wife got - the real answers would have been "It's a wig. I use to cover up the chemo." That's how lucky I would be with that.

Actually, though, I suspect if your wording was the same as your wife's wording she may have though she was asking about price ("what you ask for"). Either that or the lady thought it made her a dead ringer for a gorgeous model and your wife not mistaking her for Jennifer Aniston made her feel like she just wasted $400 and 3 hours for the "Jennfier Anniston" cut. It's just like when I make the mistake of thinking the brown and tan deputy sheriff is a boy scout troop leader (or boy scout for the New Academy grads). "It's a uniform, not an 'outfit'. We're not here for a field trip and I don't care that you haven't seen the other boys. License and registration please." Those are awfully expensive cookies and there's no check box for thin-mints.

True beauty comes from the inside, obviously your wife is a beautiful woman, taking her time out to compliment a stranger. She should not let that womans reaction bother her, unfortunately no expensive haircut can make up for a lack of class and grace. So many women are so busy being jealous of other women that they wouldn't do what your wife did, this shows that your wife is a good woman who is secure in herself :) The other woman has some serious issues she should deal with. Last week a friend posted on FB that she was looking for a good hairdresser, a few of our mutual friends replied and said "Ask Alecia where she goes, her hair looks great." I was so touched by that compliment. Then just a tad embarassed cause I had to tell her that I get my hair done at the hair cuttery, lol. What can I say..... I am a little too frugal to spend hundreds on my hair :):)