Dumb Laws

The Dumb Laws section are actual laws on the books. Although most are severely outdated, they were once enforced. It should also be noted that Real Police cannot verify the accuracy of each law to date and that it should be looked at for entertainment purposes only.


Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner as well be fined.  This was back when it was popular.


A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

You may not release gas (fart) in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.

It is considered an offense to shower naked.

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.

It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M. (Tampa Bay).


Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw."

A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.

Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.

The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.

Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock, Arkansas may result in a 30-day jail term.

It is unlawful to walk one's cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.

No person shall sound the horn of a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M. (Little Rock City Code Sec. 18-54).


Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

Women may not drive in a house coat.

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.

Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool (Baldwin Park).

You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows (Blythe).

It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds (Burlingame).

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine (Chico).

It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time (Hollywood).

It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.

It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss (Pasadena).

Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house (Prunedale).

One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock (Riverside).

Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash (San Francisco).

It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner (San Francisco).

It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear (San Francisco).


It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.

Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.

The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park (Denver).

It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.

You may not drive a black car on Sundays (Denver).

It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep (Logan County).


You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.

It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.

You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays.

No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind.

It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset (Devon).

Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display (Guilford).

You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands (Hartford).

You may not educate dogs.

It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.

It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire (New Britain).

It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer (Waterbury).


It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.

It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist (Lewes).

Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment (Lewes).


It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.

You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.

Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.

Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.


It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.

You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.

It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.

It is illegal to sell peanuts in (Lee County, Alabama) after sundown on Wednesday.


It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.

While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.


Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.

Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.

You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.

(Maricopa County) No more than six girls may live in any house.

A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.

It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling (Tombstone, Alabama).


All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.

Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.


You may not fish on a camel's back.

Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.

Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.

If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car (Coeur d' Alene).


You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.

The English language is not to be spoken.

You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.

Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.

Spitting is forbidden

In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.

It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.

It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.

One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.

Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kriland's streets (Kirkland, Ill).


Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.

One-armed piano players must perform for free.

A man with a moustache cannot kiss a woman in public.


A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.

It is against the law to pass a horse on the street.

It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.

Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.

Pedestrians crossing highway's at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.

No one may catch a fish with their bare hands.

Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.

Drinks on the house are illegal.

"Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" is illegal.


The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.

If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other passes.


It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.

It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.

By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground." (Lexington, Kentucky).


It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

It is illegal to gargle in public places.

Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."

(New Orleans, Louisiana)

You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.


In Massachusetts state law says it is prohibited to sleep or lounge on bakery shelves.

In Boston, city laws state that persons taking a bath must have a doctors prescription.

Also in Boston, Hotel owners are required to provide a bed for a guest's horse.

Thanks cpldvldog for sending these in!


 It is illegal for a restaurant to serve apple pie without cheese.

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