Dumb Criminals

Thief gets a mouthful trying to siphon what he "thinks" is gas Police got a call one morning from Dennis Quigly, the owner of a motor home. Dennis had been inside his motor home when he heard weird noises from outside. Apparently, a thief was trying to siphon gas from his vehicle. (Siphoning is when you transport liquid from one place to another, usually using a rubber hose.) You gotta suck on the hose to get the liquid moving, sometimes getting a mouthful. This thief sure got a mouthful - of sewage! He'd sucked from the wrong tank.  Police found vomit on the ground beside a young man who was curled up in a ball. No charges were pressed cuz Dennis thought the dumb thief had suffered enough.

 

Doughnut trail leads cops to thief (March 29th, 2002): SLIDELL, Louisiana (Reuters) -- Two people left a 15-mile-long- trail of doughnuts after they took a Krispy Kreme truck from a parking lot and fled, police said Thursday.

The truck was parked at a convenience store with its rear doors open and engine running while a deliveryman carried doughnuts inside, said Slidell police spokesman Rob Callahan.

Two suspects hopped in the truck and sped off to the nearby town of Lacombe, with doughnuts spilling out along the way, he said.

They abandoned the truck when they were spotted by police responding to reports of a dangerous driver who was losing his doughnuts. Passenger Rose Houk, 31, was captured, but the driver, whose name was not released, ran away.

Houk told police they had been smoking crack cocaine for several hours before the incident, which occurred Wednesday, said Callahan.

Their motive for taking the Krispy Kreme truck was unclear.

"I don't know if it was a need for transportation or if they just had the munchies," he said.


Man claiming to be Jesus offers salvation to police officers March 2002: Lucas Patrick of Seymour walked into police headquarters Wednesday and announced he was Jesus Christ, police said.  He then led officers to 16 bags of crack cocaine in his vehicle and told them they'd earn "salvation" by arresting him on drug charges.  Bless their souls, that's just what they did.  Patrick, 24, of Balance Rock, was charged with possession of narcotics and possession of narcotics within 1,500 feet of a school zone.  "By arresting him, he said we passed the test and had been saved," said Detective Sgt. Michael Madden, police spokesman.  Patrick had been arrested just last month in a Valley-wide drug sweep.  He took it on himself to visit Shelton police Wednesday to talk with officers about a Shelton crime case, police said.

 

Then they all went to his vehicle, where the cocaine was stashed, police said.  "We stated that he had to get arrested for this and he said, It is God's will,' " Madden said.  Patrick later acknowledged using hallucinogenic drugs and smoking marijuana laced with embalming fluid, known on the street as "wet," police said.  But he said God was the reason he didn't want to sell crack anymore, Madden said.  "He shook our hands and told us we have been made whole, 100 percent," he said.

Detective Ben Trabka said it's common for suspects to say they've changed their lives. But he said it's rare to hear them claim they're Jesus.  Madden said Patrick cooperated throughout the arrest.  Patrick, dressed in a greenish sweater with casino dice on it, had a peaceful air during his arraignment at Derby Superior Court Thursday afternoon.  Assistant State's Attorney John Kerwin recommended that his bond be raised from $10,000 to $15,000 due to his Feb. 5 arrest for possession of cocaine with intent to sell and possession of cocaine within 1,500 feet of a school zone.  But Public Defender David Nanavaty pointed to Patrick's courtesy toward police.  Judge Joseph Sylvester let stand the original bond and ordered that Patrick receive medical and psychiatric treatment.  "Apparently he has found Jesus, and does not need drugs anymore," Sylvester said.  Source: DumbCrooks

Dumb Criminal in Omaha, NE (Sent in by Anna...Thanks Anna!).  I was flagged down by a citizen whose vehicle had stalled at an intersection. If he would not have flagged me down, I would not have noticed his vehicle was stalled. He asked me to order a tow truck for him because his cell phone was not working. When asked for his name (Jonathan), he couldn't spell it correctly. And because he did not have any form of identification on him, I became a little suspicious. I asked him if I could look inside his vehicle, he joyfully said yes. When he stood up, he dropped a baggy containing 3 grams of cocaine from his lap. When I searched him, he had an additional 14.5 grams of rock cocaine, 5 grams of marijuana and 2 marijuana pipes in his shorts pocket. I eventually found out his real name was "Craig" and he had a felony and a misdemeanor warrant on file, hence the alias "Jonathan". Of course, I ordered the tow truck for him!

Armed Robbers Caught on Coffee Break  KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - A gang of armed robbers was arrested by Malaysian police after their latest victim spotted them sipping drinks near the mobile phone shop they had just raided.  The shop's owner was going to make a police report when he saw the thieves' car at a roadside drink stall.  He called police who surrounded the four robbers and arrested them without any trouble, the Malay Mail afternoon daily reported on Tuesday.  Police say the gang is behind more than 20 cases of motorcycle theft, armed robbery and rape in the Kuala Lumpur area.  In Friday's incident, the thieves held two shop employees at gunpoint and took an unknown number of mobile phones and some cash before making their getaway.  The previous day the gang assaulted a man who tried to resist a robbery.

Man gives license and runs  This is pretty funny (5/8/01).  A local man is involved in a car accident.  When the police arrive, the man gives his drivers license to the officer, and then literally turns and runs away.  The officer doesn't give chase, but does check him through the computer.  He has no warrants and is a valid driver.  His car is also registered to him and everything is proper.  The officer simply tows the man's car, drives over to his house and issues him a ticket.

Fake ID not even close  The OPP recently stopped a guy for going 50km/h over the speed limit. When asked for his license, he gave the police someone else's, who looked nothing like the driver. The police then asked for his real license. He gave it to them, and is now charged with speeding and unlawful use of a driver's license.  Sent in by Luke.  Thanks Luke!

Out of gas?  A carjacker is in custody from Baker, LA partly because he refused to believe his victim's vehicle was out of gas, police say.  The car's owner had pulled into a closed service station late Thursday night because his gas tank was empty. As the 20-year-old car owner tried to figure out what to do, the car was taken at gunpoint.  The victim said the car was out of gas but the carjacker told him to try to start it anyway.  The car started but ran out of gas and stalled down the street while the victim was at a pay phone calling in the robbery.  The gunman took off on foot, in view of an officer who heard the call and saw the suspect get into another car with two other men.

Police help suspect remember his name by reading it off of his ID in his own pocket.  A few years ago, myself and another officer responded to a vehicle theft in progress complaint. The suspect had just broken into a pickup truck, and stolen a radar detector, and placed it in a stolen bank deposit bag. Also stolen was a wallet with cash and credit cards. The suspect was observed walking from the parking lot with the deposit bag in hand. He approached another vehicle, and was attempting to gain entrance when he saw officers. He sat the bag down of goods by the tire of the vehicle, and began to walk away. We approached him, placed him under arrest, and I searched him incident to lawful arrest. In his right rear pants pocket was the wallet, stolen from the pickup truck. I retrieved the wallet, looking inside. I looked at the driver's, and saw that the picture was not him. Looking at the license, I asked him his name. HE COULDN'T TELL ME! Not to worry, though. In his other rear pants pocket was his wallet containing his picture ID and the BUSINESS CARD OF HIS PROBATION OFFICER! -Sent in by Officer Dave...Thanks Dave!

Robber accidentally shoots himself  When a robber's .38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: he peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time it worked.

Peeping Tom drops in for a visit.  MOUNTAIN HOME, Ark. (according to APB news) -- Three women relaxing at a tanning salon got a nasty surprise when a Peeping Tom tumbled through the ceiling tiles and crashed to the floor, authorities said.

If I can see my footprints, can they?  In TOPEKA, Kan., police say they caught a homicide suspect within 15 minutes of the shooting by following footprints for a mile and a half through new-fallen snow.  The man, 29, was arrested early Tuesday at a friend's house where he was pretending to be asleep in bed, said a Sergeant for the department, a watch commander with the Topeka Police Department.

(From my "Yesterday's Shift" page):  Just as I'm getting into my cruiser (at the start of my shift), I hear a Sergeant calling for backup in front of our court house.  I advise radio that I was close and that I would go.  When I arrived, the detective had already arrested a guy who was in a stolen car.  The car was parked right in front of the court house and was a "confirmed" stolen vehicle.  He said he didn't know the car was stolen, which raises two options: either he is really stupid (which I'm leaning toward) or he really didn't know.  Not much else happened in the shift.  I took a few accidents and tried to stay warm.

I'm here to bail out my friend  A guy comes into the St.Louis Metropolitan Police Department, Telling the officer working at the front desk he would like to bail out his friend that was arrested earlier. The officer asked the would be good Samaritan to come through the metal detector as he does the detector alarms, the officer asks him to remove the contents of his pocket and place them in the basket the guy fills the basket with misc. including keys a wad of cash a pack of gum and his bag of dope! Hmmm who's going to bail him out?  SLMPD

Crooks take dummy hostage  (We're not kidding!) bungling crook in Rome, Italy was arrested after he took a shop dummy hostage. The gun-wielding robber threatened to shoot the life-like mannequin if the cops made any attempt to capture him. A police spokesman said "He was either blind as a bat, dumb or both."

Get-away car stolen  Two characters in the United Kingdom held up a post office. When they went outside they found their getaway car had been stolen. One of them had left they keys inside. They flagged down a passing car with the intention of using it as a getaway. Unfortunately for them, it was a police car.

Man robs himself  An Illinois man kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

Woman hides marijuana in car  A San Antonio woman was arrested after a mechanic found eighteen packages of marijuana neatly packed inside the engine compartment of the car she had brought in for an oil change. The woman later confided to police she hadn't realized the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.

Drug user wants his money back  A South Carolina man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.

Man robs store next to police station  A19 year-old Northfield Village, Ohio man robbed a Dairy Mart convenience store by threatening the clerk with an 8-inch butcher knife. Problem is, the clerk knew his identity, since he was employed at the Subway right next door.

Just kick the window!  (My Story) While working 3rd shift one night, I responded to a B & E in progress.  When I arrived, I found a broken front window to a business about 1 foot from the ground.  It wasn't completely shattered, and didn't appear that anyone could have entered it.  While checking the area, we find blood drops leading away from the window.  About a block away, we find our suspect.  He's carrying a VCR and his right leg is now bleeding worse.  When the ambulance arrives, they cut his pant leg off and blood is just pouring out of his leg and he's getting ready to pass out.  You can see the bone and there's about a 6" x 2" gouge that is about 2" thick into his flesh, and it's literally hanging from him by a piece of skin (yuk!).  This guy is rushed to the hospital.  He said when he kicked the window, his foot got stuck so he "yanked" it out.  The VCR was recovered.  The man goes into surgery and he's arrested for B & E.

Man tries to "re-cash" check  (Local Flint Story) A local Flint man was arrested for trying to cash one of his own checks that had already cleared his bank from being "cashed in" by him the first time.  The bank had stamped the check and returned it to him as normal.  He later tried to cash it again, even though it was stamped by the bank.  He was arrested and charged with a felony.

"Just keep walking...I don't think they'll figure it out"  (My Story) On a local Flint call, my partner and I get called to a B & E in progress.  We are very close so we go.  As were driving up the block, we see a man walking toward us who's carrying a 27" TV. He stops, turns around, and begins walking the other way like nothing.  It's about 3:30 in the morning. When we ask him where he's coming from, he says he's "going to get his TV fixed."  About three houses down we find forced entry on a residence and the TV is missing. He's arrested.

Bank robber stops to count the loot  A Bridgeport, Connecticut man learned a valuable lesson when robbing banks: Wait until you get home to count the loot.  Ernest Michaelson, 45, was discovered behind the United Bank on Saturday, moments after it had just been robbed. Police said Michaelson was counting the stolen money when police arrived and was quickly arrested.  Police said Michaelson matched the description of the robber who threatened to start shooting people if he wasn't given the money. The suspect fled after a teller handed over about $857 and was spotted by a bank manager as he ran behind the bank.

Robbers locked out of credit union  Trotwood, Ohio police are searching for a pair of would be robbers. Employees of the Dayton School Credit Union in Trotwood were holding a meeting just before opening Thursday morning. That's when two men wearing ski masks tried to enter the bank through the front doors--which were still locked. The tellers called the police, and the would-be robbers fled on foot, leaving their getaway car behind.

Bowling for Mop-Heads  An armed robber who planned to steal cash from a Prince William County bowling alley was caught Monday after he held up a delivery-truck driver with a sawed-off shotgun and ran off with a bag full of mop heads, police said. Prince William County police said Dennis Wayne Sullivan, 23, of Front Royal, had watched the Bowl America bowling alley and planned to steal a regular cash pickup. Sullivan allegedly jumped out from behind the building on Balls Ford Road about 8:30 a.m. Monday and stole a bag from a uniformed delivery-truck driver who was carrying cleaning supplies. The thief, who was wearing a mask, dropped the bag after discovering the mops.  Sullivan was charged with attempted armed robbery, use of a firearm in the commission of a felony and other charges, police spokesman Dennis Mangan said.

Bank robber writes stickup note on back of police report  A bank robber yesterday saved Jacksonville police some time by writing the demand note on the back of a police report of his previous arrest.  Police said a man dressed in blue jeans, a T-shirt and carrying a Starter jacket walked into the First Union Bank, 899 Dunn Ave., about 11 a.m. and handed a teller the note.  Written on the back of an arrest report from Dec. 15, when the man was charged with opposing a police officer, was a note saying he had several pounds of explosives and that some of the bank's staff members were working with him, police said.  The robber never showed the teller the explosives nor a weapon, and fled with an undetermined amount of cash, police said. But as soon as the bank called police, patrol officers nearby found the suspect walking along Harts Road -- two blocks from the bank and a few blocks from his home.  Osman S. Brown, 19, of the 11200 block of Harts Road was charged with armed robbery.  Police reports said Brown was arrested Dec. 15 when he started yelling at an officer before becoming physically aggressive. Brown was also charged Sunday with petit theft.  By Kathleen Sweeney, Jacksonville Times-Union staff writer.

Armed robber is a master of disguise  Recently, the Kenner (LA) Police Department arrested an individual for the armed robbery of a Subway Sandwich shop. Seems the ne'er-do-well was captured on the store's closed circuit surveillance camera outside the store, practicing pulling his shirt up to be used as a mask.  As if that wasn't bad enough, he was also booked with the armed robbery of a motel a block away from the Subway which occurred the night before. In that robbery, his disguise was a towel with two eye holes cut out of it. Seems the suspect entered the motel, pointed the gun at the clerk and demanded money. Then he realized the mask was on his shoulder, not his face. In mid-robbery he begins trying to pull up the mask and lining up the eye holes with his eyes.

Bumper falls off truck  Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.

Three strikes and you're out  A man in Fort Collins, Colorado robbed the same 7-Eleven store twice in one day. He told the clerk during the second robbery that he'd be back in a few hours to rob it a third time. Sure enough, he returned a few hours later and was arrested by detectives still in the store investigating the first and second robberies.

Cinderblock bounces off window  An Arkansas man wanted a free case of beer. He decided he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab a case or two, and run. He lifted the cinderblock over his head and heaved it at the plexi-glass window. It bounced back, hitting him on the head and knocking him unconscious. To add insult to injury, the entire event was captured on video tape by the store's surveillance camera.

The hitch-hiker  Nashville, TN - A man hitch-hiking offers an off duty officer a bag of crack cocaine for a ride, and gets arrested.

Dentist gives crooks the finger, LITERALLY!  Jacksonville, FL - A local dentist agreed to have 2 men cut off one of his fingers in an insurance scam.  When it came down to it, the dentist had second thoughts, but the 2 men didn't.  His finger was amputated and the dentist collected, giving the 2 men $45,000.  However, the 2 men later decided they wanted more.  When they did, the dentist went to the police, admitting guilt.

Pregnant?  Minden, Louisiana - A woman stopped on a traffic stop told police she was pregnant when they became suspicious of a bulge in her stomach. She was arrested for transporting 1.6 kilos of cocaine.

Drunk driver couldn't wait  Pacificia, CA - A drunk driver pulled behind an officer's police car while the officer was arresting somebody.  The man was so drunk, he began blowing his horn and yelling for the officer to move out of the way.  When the officer began talking with him, it was apparent he had way too much to drink and was arrested.

An urge for pizza gets a bank robber caught  Sharps, FL - A man that robbed a bank got caught after purchasing a pizza with $20 covered in bank color dye.  The pizza employees became suspicious and called police.

Positive ID  Arkansas - As a woman exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran.  Within minutes a man matching the description of the suspect was brought back to the store by police to ask the woman if they had the right guy.  When they pulled up, the suspect saw the woman and told the police "Yes officer, that's her.  That's the lady I stole the purse from."

Need some gas?  Seattle - A man who attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.  Police arrived on scene to find an ill man, curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.  A police spokesman said the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline but unknowingly plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

Robber pays store  Louisiana - A man walked into a convenience store, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.  The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.00

Always look both ways before pulling into traffic... My dad was a gas station manager in the mid eighties. One day after coming home from work he told me about his day. The gas station he worked at has a drive up pay station, meaning you pump your gas and drive up to pay. One day an idiot decided to help himself to some free gas and drive past my dad's window waving his middle finger at him as he drove by. As my dad walked out and tried to get the guy's plate number, the dummy pulled out of the lot without looking and bumped into a sheriff's department cruiser.  My dad happily told the surprised deputy what had taken place (used by permission from dumbcrooks.com).

A New York man underestimated a woman's determination on a house robbery  A women in Bronx NY came home to find a man who had broken into her apartment was still there.   When she came in, he ran past her and down 5 flights of stairs into the street.  The woman decided she was not going to let the man get away with it and gave chase foot.  When she got to the street a construction worker pointed to a cab which the robber was now sitting in.  The woman pulled the man out of the cab causing his head to get knocked into the door.  As he was pulled out, he decided to try and hit the girl, but she ducked, knocking the man back down.  She told him she didn't want to hurt him, but that he wasn't going anywhere until the police arrived.  The woman held the man there for police and paramedic's who gladly took the suspect into custody (Apparently the man was having trouble breathing due to his asthma and also sustained abrasions from the incident).  Let this be a lesson to some of these low-life thieves...our woman are getting sick of it too!  Sent in by DalKeith.  Thanks!

Man with stolen motorcycle wants police to find "his" stolen property  On Wed, 9 Aug 2000 16:20:52 EDT, Tim wrote: I work as a Kent Police Officer. On 08/04/00 at approx. 2200 hours, I was bicycle patrol in the area of James St. and 1st AVE. A white male riding a motorcycle approached me to tell me his girl friend's bicycle was stolen. I noticed he was not wearing any eye protective gear.  He told me he left it back in the hotel. I asked him for his DOL which  was also left in the hotel. I ran his name and motorcycle plate through WACIC/DOL. The motorcycle came back stolen and he had a local warrant. He was arrested without incident. He claims he did not know the motorcycle was stolen. The ignition was damaged and the bike was "Hot Wired". He went to jail!  Sent in by Tim from The Kent Police Department.  Thanks Tim!

Can't lose those drugs  Miami, Florida:  A man left behind his stash of marijuana when he got out of a cab. A few miles down the road, the cabbie noticed the dope and turned it in to the dispatcher, who called the cops. Later the guy called the cab company to ask if anyone had turned in some "tobacco" that he had left in the cab. The dispatcher told him yes, but that he would have to come down and identify it as his to get it back. He did. Cops busted him after he made the positive ID.

You can always depend on friends  Topeka, Kansas: A man held up a convenience store. When he discovered there was not much money in the register, he decided to wait on customers for a while to build up a little more cash. His plan failed when one of the clerk's friends came in, became suspicious and called the cops.

Ticket to jail?  Juan Doe of Pennsauken, New Jersey decided to rob the Hill-Rom Corp, again. However, he needed to keep the door from closing fully behind him, so he used a paper to keep the lock from closing. That paper happens to be a traffic ticket with his name and address on it. Needless to say, this idiot is behind bars.

Ouch!!!  An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break his former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a rather large hole in his stomach (San Jose Mercury News).

A born car thief  A man in Virginia Beach, Virginia was charged with auto theft. So he appeared in court on Friday like he was supposed to do. But being so bright, he came in a stolen car. I guess there will be no bail hearing on this one.

Man tries to get rid of gun  An 18-year-old John Doe, his uncle, and another teenager were walking down the street when they saw police cars approaching from the opposite direction. In an attempt to get rid of the weapon he was carrying, John threw his gun on the ground. Unfortunately for him, upon the impact to the ground the gun went off and shot him in the head. His uncle, drove him to the hospital, but crashed through the emergency doors, injuring a hospital employee. He was arrested for vehicular negligent injury and driving while intoxicated.

Just plain stupid!  A Texas man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check--a forged check. He got 10 years.

You're kidding right?  A 45 year-old lady was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, the lady later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.

Before you ask, let me tell you...  I was having lunch at my wife's shop one day while on duty, and heard a bolo for a stolen box truck. I thought I would keep an eye out for it since my wife's shop is on the main road. Then I spotted what I believed to be the truck, I asked dispatch for a better description of the truck. The description of the truck matched the one that was turning in my direction, so when the truck got near me I waved for him to pull into the parking lot which he did. I was amazed I was thinking either this is not the guy or this is one dumb guy. When the truck stopped the driver jumped out of the truck and ran, of course I ran after him and caught him about a block away. And get this before we even started questioning him he said "i stole that truck' ' hey man I stole that truck." Was this guy a few eggs short of a dozen or what? This is a true story from florida. I hope you enjoy this. Thanks marty for the story!

One drunk to another.  This story happened here in Flint, Michigan.  My friend (an officer) was working the late shift and responded to an accident.  While investigating, he learned that the girl driving was drunk and had crashed into a parked car.  The passenger in her car was another girl she had just picked up down the road.  That girl (the passenger) was drunk too, and had just crashed her car into another parked car and abandoned it after it would no longer run.  The original girl saw her walking, and offered her a ride as a good Samaritan.  Both females were arrested for OUIL and both of their cars were impounded.

Armed Robbers Caught on Coffee Break.  (7/3/01) KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - A gang of armed robbers was arrested by Malaysian police after their latest victim spotted them sipping drinks near the mobile phone shop they had just raided.  The shop's owner was going to make a police report when he saw the thieves' car at a roadside drink stall.  He called police who surrounded the four robbers and arrested them without any trouble, the Malay Mail afternoon daily reported on Tuesday.  Police say the gang is behind more than 20 cases of motorcycle theft, armed robbery and rape in the Kuala Lumpur area.  In Friday's incident, the thieves held two shop employees at gunpoint and took an unknown number of mobile phones and some cash before making their getaway.  The previous day the gang assaulted a man who tried to resist a robbery.

Man gives license and runs.  This is pretty funny (5/8/01).  A local man is involved in a car accident.  When the police arrive, the man gives his drivers license to the officer, and then literally turns and runs away.  The officer doesn't give chase, but does check him through the computer.  He has no warrants and is a valid driver.  His car is also registered to him and everything is proper.  The officer simply tows the man's car, drives over to his house and issues him a ticket.

Fake ID not even close  The OPP recently stopped a guy for going 50km/h over the speed limit. When asked for his license, he gave the police someone else's, who looked nothing like the driver. The police then asked for his real license. He gave it to them, and is now charged with speeding and unlawful use of a driver's license.  Sent in by Luke.  Thanks Luke!

Out of gas?  A carjacker is in custody from Baker, LA partly because he refused to believe his victim's vehicle was out of gas, police say.  The car's owner had pulled into a closed service station late Thursday night because his gas tank was empty. As the 20-year-old car owner tried to figure out what to do, the car was taken at gunpoint.  The victim said the car was out of gas but the carjacker told him to try to start it anyway.  The car started but ran out of gas and stalled down the street while the victim was at a pay phone calling in the robbery.  The gunman took off on foot, in view of an officer who heard the call and saw the suspect get into another car with two other men.

Police help suspect remember his name by reading it off of his ID in his own pocket.  A few years ago, myself and another officer responded to a vehicle theft in progress complaint. The suspect had just broken into a pickup truck, and stolen a radar detector, and placed it in a stolen bank deposit bag. Also stolen was a wallet with cash and credit cards. The suspect was observed walking from the parking lot with the deposit bag in hand. He approached another vehicle, and was attempting to gain entrance when he saw officers. He sat the bag down of goods by the tire of the vehicle, and began to walk away. We approached him, placed him under arrest, and I searched him incident to lawful arrest. In his right rear pants pocket was the wallet, stolen from the pickup truck. I retrieved the wallet, looking inside. I looked at the driver's, and saw that the picture was not him. Looking at the license, I asked him his name. HE COULDN'T TELL ME! Not to worry, though. In his other rear pants pocket was his wallet containing his picture ID and the BUSINESS CARD OF HIS PROBATION OFFICER! -Sent in by Officer Dave...Thanks Dave!

Robber accidentally shoots himself  When a robber's .38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: he peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time it worked.  Back to Main Menu

Peeping Tom drops in for a visit.  MOUNTAIN HOME, Ark. (according to APB news) -- Three women relaxing at a tanning salon got a nasty surprise when a Peeping Tom tumbled through the ceiling tiles and crashed to the floor, authorities said.

If I can see my footprints, can they?  In TOPEKA, Kan., police say they caught a homicide suspect within 15 minutes of the shooting by following footprints for a mile and a half through new-fallen snow.  The man, 29, was arrested early Tuesday at a friend's house where he was pretending to be asleep in bed, said a Sergeant for the department, a watch commander with the Topeka Police Department.

(From my "Yesterday's Shift" page):  Just as I'm getting into my cruiser (at the start of my shift), I hear a Sergeant calling for backup in front of our court house.  I advise radio that I was close and that I would go.  When I arrived, the detective had already arrested a guy who was in a stolen car.  The car was parked right in front of the court house and was a "confirmed" stolen vehicle.  He said he didn't know the car was stolen, which raises two options: either he is really stupid (which I'm leaning toward) or he really didn't know.  Not much else happened in the shift.  I took a few accidents and tried to stay warm.

Hi.  I'm here to bail out my friend  A guy comes into the St.Louis Metropolitan Police Department, Telling the officer working at the front desk he would like to bail out his friend that was arrested earlier. The officer asked the would be good Samaritan to come through the metal detector as he does the detector alarms, the officer asks him to remove the contents of his pocket and place them in the basket the guy fills the basket with misc. including keys a wad of cash a pack of gum and his bag of dope! Hmmm who's going to bail him out?  SLMPD

Crooks take dummy hostage  (We're not kidding!) bungling crook in Rome, Italy was arrested after he took a shop dummy hostage. The gun-wielding robber threatened to shoot the life-like mannequin if the cops made any attempt to capture him. A police spokesman said "He was either blind as a bat, dumb or both."

Get-away car stolen  Two characters in the United Kingdom held up a post office. When they went outside they found their getaway car had been stolen. One of them had left they keys inside. They flagged down a passing car with the intention of using it as a getaway. Unfortunately for them, it was a police car.

Man robs himself  An Illinois man kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

Woman hides marijuana in car  A San Antonio woman was arrested after a mechanic found eighteen packages of marijuana neatly packed inside the engine compartment of the car she had brought in for an oil change. The woman later confided to police she hadn't realized the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.

Drug user wants his money back  A South Carolina man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.

Man robs store next to police station  A19 year-old Northfield Village, Ohio man robbed a Dairy Mart convenience store by threatening the clerk with an 8-inch butcher knife. Problem is, the clerk knew his identity, since he was employed at the Subway right next door.

Just kick the window!  (My Story) While working 3rd shift one night, I responded to a B & E in progress.  When I arrived, I found a broken front window to a business about 1 foot from the ground.  It wasn't completely shattered, and didn't appear that anyone could have entered it.  While checking the area, we find blood drops leading away from the window.  About a block away, we find our suspect.  He's carrying a VCR and his right leg is now bleeding worse.  When the ambulance arrives, they cut his pant leg off and blood is just pouring out of his leg and he's getting ready to pass out.  You can see the bone and there's about a 6" x 2" gouge that is about 2" thick into his flesh, and it's literally hanging from him by a piece of skin (yuk!).  This guy is rushed to the hospital.  He said when he kicked the window, his foot got stuck so he "yanked" it out.  The VCR was recovered.  The man goes into surgery and he's arrested for B & E.

Man tries to "re-cash" check  (Local Flint Story) A local Flint man was arrested for trying to cash one of his own checks that had already cleared his bank from being "cashed in" by him the first time.  The bank had stamped the check and returned it to him as normal.  He later tried to cash it again, even though it was stamped by the bank.  He was arrested and charged with a felony.

"Just keep walking...I don't think they'll figure it out"  (My Story) On a local Flint call, my partner and I get called to a B & E in progress.  We are very close so we go.  As were driving up the block, we see a man walking toward us who's carrying a 27" TV. He stops, turns around, and begins walking the other way like nothing.  It's about 3:30 in the morning. When we ask him where he's coming from, he says he's "going to get his TV fixed."  About three houses down we find forced entry on a residence and the TV is missing. He's arrested.

Bank robber stops to count the loot  A Bridgeport, Connecticut man learned a valuable lesson when robbing banks: Wait until you get home to count the loot.  Ernest Michaelson, 45, was discovered behind the United Bank on Saturday, moments after it had just been robbed. Police said Michaelson was counting the stolen money when police arrived and was quickly arrested.  Police said Michaelson matched the description of the robber who threatened to start shooting people if he wasn't given the money. The suspect fled after a teller handed over about $857 and was spotted by a bank manager as he ran behind the bank.

Robbers locked out of credit union  Trotwood, Ohio police are searching for a pair of would be robbers. Employees of the Dayton School Credit Union in Trotwood were holding a meeting just before opening Thursday morning. That's when two men wearing ski masks tried to enter the bank through the front doors--which were still locked. The tellers called the police, and the would-be robbers fled on foot, leaving their getaway car behind.

Bowling for Mop-Heads  An armed robber who planned to steal cash from a Prince William County bowling alley was caught Monday after he held up a delivery-truck driver with a sawed-off shotgun and ran off with a bag full of mop heads, police said. Prince William County police said Dennis Wayne Sullivan, 23, of Front Royal, had watched the Bowl America bowling alley and planned to steal a regular cash pickup. Sullivan allegedly jumped out from behind the building on Balls Ford Road about 8:30 a.m. Monday and stole a bag from a uniformed delivery-truck driver who was carrying cleaning supplies. The thief, who was wearing a mask, dropped the bag after discovering the mops.  Sullivan was charged with attempted armed robbery, use of a firearm in the commission of a felony and other charges, police spokesman Dennis Mangan said.

Bank robber writes stickup note on back of police report  A bank robber yesterday saved Jacksonville police some time by writing the demand note on the back of a police report of his previous arrest.  Police said a man dressed in blue jeans, a T-shirt and carrying a Starter jacket walked into the First Union Bank, 899 Dunn Ave., about 11 a.m. and handed a teller the note.  Written on the back of an arrest report from Dec. 15, when the man was charged with opposing a police officer, was a note saying he had several pounds of explosives and that some of the bank's staff members were working with him, police said.  The robber never showed the teller the explosives nor a weapon, and fled with an undetermined amount of cash, police said. But as soon as the bank called police, patrol officers nearby found the suspect walking along Harts Road -- two blocks from the bank and a few blocks from his home.  Osman S. Brown, 19, of the 11200 block of Harts Road was charged with armed robbery.  Police reports said Brown was arrested Dec. 15 when he started yelling at an officer before becoming physically aggressive. Brown was also charged Sunday with petit theft.  By Kathleen Sweeney, Jacksonville Times-Union staff writer.

Armed robber is a master of disguise  Recently, the Kenner (LA) Police Department arrested an individual for the armed robbery of a Subway Sandwich shop. Seems the ne'er-do-well was captured on the store's closed circuit surveillance camera outside the store, practicing pulling his shirt up to be used as a mask.  As if that wasn't bad enough, he was also booked with the armed robbery of a motel a block away from the Subway which occurred the night before. In that robbery, his disguise was a towel with two eye holes cut out of it. Seems the suspect entered the motel, pointed the gun at the clerk and demanded money. Then he realized the mask was on his shoulder, not his face. In mid-robbery he begins trying to pull up the mask and lining up the eye holes with his eyes.

Bumper falls off truck  Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.

Three strikes and you're out  A man in Fort Collins, Colorado robbed the same 7-Eleven store twice in one day. He told the clerk during the second robbery that he'd be back in a few hours to rob it a third time. Sure enough, he returned a few hours later and was arrested by detectives still in the store investigating the first and second robberies.

Cinderblock bounces off window  An Arkansas man wanted a free case of beer. He decided he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab a case or two, and run. He lifted the cinderblock over his head and heaved it at the plexi-glass window. It bounced back, hitting him on the head and knocking him unconscious. To add insult to injury, the entire event was captured on video tape by the store's surveillance camera.

The hitch-hiker  Nashville, TN - A man hitch-hiking offers an off duty officer a bag of crack cocaine for a ride, and gets arrested.

Dentist gives crooks the finger, LITERALLY!  Jacksonville, FL - A local dentist agreed to have 2 men cut off one of his fingers in an insurance scam.  When it came down to it, the dentist had second thoughts, but the 2 men didn't.  His finger was amputated and the dentist collected, giving the 2 men $45,000.  However, the 2 men later decided they wanted more.  When they did, the dentist went to the police, admitting guilt.

Pregnant?  Minden, Louisiana - A woman stopped on a traffic stop told police she was pregnant when they became suspicious of a bulge in her stomach. She was arrested for transporting 1.6 kilos of cocaine.

Drunk driver couldn't wait  Pacificia, CA - A drunk driver pulled behind an officer's police car while the officer was arresting somebody.  The man was so drunk, he began blowing his horn and yelling for the officer to move out of the way.  When the officer began talking with him, it was apparent he had way too much to drink and was arrested.

An urge for pizza gets a bank robber caught  Sharps, FL - A man that robbed a bank got caught after purchasing a pizza with $20 covered in bank color dye.  The pizza employees became suspicious and called police.

Burglary suspect picks wrong place to hide.  On Dec. 11, authorities say, Christopher S. Newsome broke into the county courthouse and stole $25 from the receptionist's desk. He then briefly hid in a closet where a janitor found him, authorities said. When the janitor went to call authorities, Newsome sprinted out of the courthouse, through a parking lot and toward a nearby building.  Unfortunately for Newsome, that building was the county jail. Moments later, the 26-year-old was in handcuffs.  Newsome was charged with burglary, theft, criminal mischief, resisting law enforcement and public intoxication.

Man Jailed Minutes After Release.  After serving eight months in Placer County jail for auto theft and drunken driving, Jessie ***** never got out of the facility's parking lot.  Less than 15 minutes after being given his freedom, the 28 year old Loomis resident was back in jail for allegedly plotting a bank robbery with an undercover officer who met him in the parking lot.
Authorities had learned that Alexander planned to rob a bank within a week of being let out of jail.  Four agencies arranged for an undercover officer to meet with Alexander in the parking lot. Alexander then solicited the undercover officer man's help for a bank robbery.  He was arrested at 6:10 a.m. - just 14 minutes after he'd walked out of jail. Alexander is charged with soliciting another person to commit a felony and is being held on 30,000.00 bail.  Thanks Cheryl for sending this in!

Bank Robber returns to bank to open account.  11/25/01:  A man without principle attracted a lot of interest after he returned to a Queens bank he had robbed to open up a savings account there, police said.  "What a dope!" said one amazed police official, who could barely contain his laughter.  "This guy has to get the jackass of the year award. I guess that's why they call them 'criminals' - they're just sometimes really stupid."  Police say Jack Schreiner, 30, strolled into a Chase Manhattan Bank branch at 84-01 Jamaica Ave. at 10:30 last Monday and handed a teller a note demanding money. The teller complied and surrendered $7,791 in cash.  On Friday, Schreiner returned to the bank at 11:24 a.m. - this time to open up a savings account.  After the manager and teller verified the man was the original bank robber, the police were called and were able to catch their man.

Will the rightful owner of this gun come forward?  A man borrows a friends suitcase to go on a trip. The friend tells him to remember to take his shotgun and six shells out first. He is going to leave from the airport in Colorado Springs CO the next day. The man gets through the security check point the first time, but than goes outside for a cigarette. When he tries to renter the airport they discover that he has a weapon and arrest him. He calls his friend to explain the situation to the police. The man comes to the airport and tells them that it was his gun and his friend forgot to take it out of the suitcase. But the man has a felony conviction and cannot own a firearm. He is arrested and taken to jail.  KBPI radio station, Denver, CO.  Thanks to one of our viewers for sending this in.

Steal a car to make it to court?  Orange County, Virginia- Several years ago, we received a call from a man stating his vehicle had just been stolen from his driveway. He knew who stole it- Michael (Last name witheld), one of his neighbors. Michael was WELL known  to our Sheriff's Office. About 10 minutes later, a civil process deputy passed Michael operating the stolen car and conducted a felony stop. After Michael was in custody, he was asked why he not only stole a car, but one from his neighbor, who could easily identify him. His response? He had to appear on court to answer a Fail to Appear charge and had no other way of getting there. Needless to say, he did make it to court on time, with an arraignment added to his docket.  Thanks to jsnipes for sending this in!

How hard is is to figure out?  A woman (Ms. McKinnon) who married on Aug. 24th to Max Allen will have to wait to consummate the marriage because the vows took place in a Turkish prison just after McKinnon had been sentenced to five years for drug smuggling on her flight back home. She was ready to board her plane in Istanbul and probably would not have been searched except that her several items of body-pierced jewelry set off a metal detector, and authorities found six pounds of heroin strapped to her chest (The Guardian "London", 8-25-00)

Two boys in stolen car pull up to sobriety checkpoint.  In Berks County (Pa.), police arrested a 16-year-old driver and his 19-year-old passenger in July in Exeter Township when the driver coolly pulled up to a sobriety checkpoint and told officers they were on the way to a party, even though both were obviously intoxicated; the car was littered with empty and open beer cans; and the boys looked much younger than 21 (the drinking age). And two other things: The car had been reported stolen, and in the back seat was a leather satchel containing various license plates, car titles and other motor-vehicle papers (Reading Eagle/Times, 7-30- 00).

Underage drinkers want police help?  I am a reserve deputy for a sheriff's department in Wisconsin.  One night (10:30 PM) while working at a local car show, I was approached by two teenage boys.  They wanted to know how to win a drawing that was put on by the car show.  I had no idea and I told them so.  Just as they were walking away, I saw that one of the kids had a plastic travel mug with a straw sticking out of it.  Now, it hasn't been that long since I was a teenager.  I asked the kid what he had in the mug.  "Soda" was his answer.  Do you mind if I take a look.  He said go ahead, and he handed me the mug.  I popped the top off.  Hmmm.... it don't smell like soda..... and it don't look like soda.  Why don't you boys follow me.  After consulting with my partner, we decided to just give him a stern warning (He looked like he was going to s#!t a brick in his pants).  How many underage drinkers go looking for the cops?


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